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Introduction
Engages
in Provocative Conversations
Provocative Conversations involve the
use of the 3 D's: The duh, the deep and the doubting questions.
Certified coaches use "duh" questions to determine why there are
problems in the clients life in the first place. They ask "deep" questions to get to the heart of the story the client
is telling. And they ask "doubting" questions to be sure that
what the client is saying is really true. The way these questions
are negotiated determines the quality of the provocative conversation.
What Is The purpose of
this learning guide?
1. To show how Certified Coaches understand and use the proficiency
"Engaging in Provocative Conversations" in a masterful way.
2. To help coaches help clients articulate what's really going on in their
lives
3. To help coaches know what to do when resonance is lacking between what
clients are saying and what is true.
During the one-hour
overview TeleClass, the instructor will cover the
following...
1. What
Engaging in Provocative Conversations means and why is it important.
2. How Engaging in Provocative Conversations
will make you a better coach.
3. An Example of Engaging in Provocative Conversations.
4. How you learn about Engaging in Provocative Conversations.
5. What mistakes coaches make with Engaging in Provocative
Conversations.
6. The key shifts to make to Engage in Provocative Conversations.
What does engaging in
provocative conversations mean and why is it important?
It's more than evocative.
Less than adversarial.
Different from confronting.
What is the model for
engaging in provocative conversations?
How do you use this
proficiency with your clients?
Suggest something more.
More possibilities. More concepts. More, or a bigger, game.
What most clients really want is to
resolve problems. Certified coaches offer an even bigger game with
provocative conversations, of having no problems at all.
Suggest something different.
Offer distinctions, different
frameworks, or suggest they make a change.
You come from a place where you are
quite interested in having clients that are without problems, period.
That really gets their attention when you offer this option.
Suggest something less.
Suggest an absence of something,
eliminate the source of the problem, or decline to work on the
focus.
It's important to engage in provocative
conversations because clients don't want to waste time, energy and money
waiting to figure out why they have symptoms or why situations are what
they are.
Going deep fast
Your conversations need to get below the surface
story and to the real truth of the matter to really have a powerful
impact. Certified Coaches go deep fast with provocative questions,
without probing and pushing their clients as if they were cows being led
to pasture.
What are the greater truths
about engaging in provocative conversations?
1. We're all waiting for a
life-changing, provocative conversation.
2. Coaching offers a great environment for this.
3. Provocative conversations add long term value.
How will engaging in
provocative conversations make you a better coach?
1. Certified Coaches don't take anything at face value.
That's what makes them better coaches. When you don't take things at
face value, you can help your client go deeper and actually resolve the
underlying dynamic, not just eliminate the symptom.
2. They wonder (with duh questions), they
pursue truth (with deepening questions) and they provoke (with doubting
questions).
3. The key distinction is provoking vs. evoking.
The certified coach uses questions to get below the surface. Great
coaches don't just evoke what the client wants to tell them. They
gently provoke what the client may be hiding from themselves.
4. People do hide from
things they really want.
A life with no problems at all is quite often wished for, and yet
hidden. Engaging in provocative conversations allows coaches to help
clients achieve/obtain what they really want, not just what they think
they want.
What are 12 ways to be more
provocative?
What are some questions you can use to engage in provocative
conversations?
1. I hear what you're saying. You are a responsible person but you
feel trapped and with no options. And I'm just wondering, Why are
you having any problems at all in your life?
2. What do you think the real
truth is here?
3. Are you sure about that? I
have a sense that there's something more. Are you sure it's about
...(i.e. losing someone or something or approval)
4. Is this the kind of life you want to have?
How Do You Learn About
Engaging in Provocative Conversations?
Practice the three sets of
questions; the duh, the deep and the doubting.
Listen to others in their
conversations. See if you can pick these questions out in the
dialogue.
Try NOT using these types of
questions and watch how boring things can get!
Ask yourself the questions
around your own life. Is your life problem free? Why not?
Certified Coaches walk their talk.
What Mistakes do coaches
make with engaging in provocative conversations?
1. They stay on the surface accepting their client stories at face
value.
They are not careful about being seduced to just follow where the
client wants to go, thinking they are letting the client appropriately
"set" the agenda. They may actually be letting the client
lead them astray.
2. They fear asking deep
questions.
They are concerned about prying into private areas. They don't realize
that their job is to navigate with curiosity so that the client can see
more truth and do something about the truth if they choose to.
3. They don't have a relationship
with problem free living
Since they are not on a path to problem free living they don't know
how to talk about it. Even if you are not there yet, your process will be
highly valuable to your clients.
4. They misunderstand the
distinction between provoke and evoke.
Consequently their sessions focus on evoking more of the client story
rather than provoking them to see more and want more for themselves.
What are the key shifts
to make to engage in provocative conversations?
1. Think bigger.
Go outside of situations and symptoms and look for the real truth.
Provocative Conversations are provocative because they rise above our
ordinary way of looking at things.
2. Pursue a problem free life.
Do this so that you can have a meaningful conversation about it.
3. Be fearless, but also guileless in your questions.
Clients can spot it if you have an agenda or you're leading them
somewhere you want them to go. "Duh" really means
"duh".
4. Don't be satisfied with a chat.
Expect more. Get more.
Class Notes
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