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Introduction
Shares what is there.
Clients rely on our observations, intuition and even our inklings to help move them forward in life. Hence, the more often, and easily, a coach can share what they see, feel and hear, the more value that can be created for that client. It's often the tiniest, most subtle inklings that can act as powerful beacons and catalysts to the client's life or business.
The Purpose of This Learning Guide
1. To explain the Proficiency.
2. To show how mastering this Proficiency makes you a better coach.
3. To provide key resources to assist you in mastering this Proficiency.
What the instructor covers in this TeleClass
1. The 3 part of Sharing What is There.
2. Key distinctions of Sharing.
3. Powerful demonstrations of Sharing.
What are the general truths about sharing what's there?
1. What holds you back, holds the client back.
2. There are many types of things you can share, far beyond what you are feeling.
3. Even if mistaken, the client benefits.
What is the model for sharing what is there?
 Share what you see.
As a coach you will observe behavior patterns, inconsistencies in what the client does and says. Share what you see and hear - even what you don't hear.
You will also observe things about their particular style. Don't worry about getting off the subject. If it's not on target, the client will tell you. Listen for congruency in their voice or body language, and if you are off base, let it go.
Share what you know.
Share what has worked, strategies you know, and facts that relate to what they are working on.
Share what you sense.
Share you concerns and reactions, even if you aren't certain what they are about. Share opportunities you notice or think of. And share you inklings. This is more than intuitions or thinking of yourself as psychic. Long before someone sees something plainly, even before they get an intuition about it, they have an inkling. Your job as the coach is to shorten the time lag by sharing inklings. Chances are you will sense this before the client is aware of it within themselves.
Key point: Share what you are hesitate to share.
It's often those things that you might hold back on that could be the one thing that could accelerate the client. The key is to focus on inklings. They are more powerful than intuition, and can be the source of the most significant value added. The sooner you share it, the more valuable it can be.
What are some key distinctions?
1. Clients pay the coach to share inklings.
Clients hire coaches for their insights, not just their expertise in a particular area. Serve your client by sharing what you notice.
2. Inklings come from somewhere.
Even if you cannot pinpoint where the inkling comes from, it does come from somewhere. You've picked up something in their voice tone, word choice, energy level, etc. - something that for you is a clue about what they really want or don't want, the truth of the situation for them. By sharing this, without having to justify where it came from, you accelerate their own insights.
3. Get permission.
You want to set the stage for this. Some clients aren't used to hearing things that appear out of left field. At the beginning of the coaching relationship let your client know that this is how you operate and ask if this is OK. You will also find opportunity to renew this permission throughout the coaching relationship. For example, you might ask, "Could I share with you what I'm noticing?"
What do you share with a client?
What are some ways to introduce an inkling?
Having a good inkling "intro" is important. It is a way of asking permission to share, as well as pre-framing the share so that clients will not feel pressured to accept it automatically. It will give them something to think about. The key is to come up with a way that feels natural to you. If you make it too "scripted", it will feel forced to the client.
Examples of ways to introduce an inkling are:
1. "I have this thought that came to me. See if that lands at all."
2. "I just want to share something that occurred to me. See if this rings true at all."
3. "I'm sensing something here. Let me know if I'm on target or way off base"
4. "It seems to me..."
5. "Did you realize...?"
6. "Let me just hazard a guess..."
How do you know when you are ready to share?
1. It fits into the conversation.
If it feels forced or like too much of an interruption, hold off until it feels inspired and natural.
2. You are curious.
When something sends up a flag for you or peaks your curiosity, there's something going on. Often it is something you have observed and the client would benefit from your curiosity and sharing.
3. You have permission.
'Nuf said.
4. You're afraid to share.
When there is something you are really hesitant to share, that's often a sign that you actually have a powerful insight. What is it that you are most afraid to share or ask?
How do you know when you are sharing it all?
1. You are holding nothing back.
2. You are complete at the end of the call.
3. The client is edified.
4. The client shares what is there for them.
Why is this a Proficiency?
1. Requires keen self-awareness and self-confidence
Sharing something, when you have no idea where it comes from, requires a high level of self-awareness and self-confidence. This advanced coaching proficiency requires that you "know how you know" - that you are keenly aware of how you distinguish truth, or non-truth, within yourself, and that you be able to pick up on it very early.
2. Must be able to get out of your own way
The Certified Coach must be able to distinguish when it is their own agenda versus that of the client. And you must be willing to share without the need to be right. You may, in fact, be right. And you might not. Share what you think is there, but don't insist that it be there.
3. Being courageous and trusting the process
The Certified Coach trusts the process and knows that everything is perfect. S/he can share what is there without judgment or pressure to make the client accept the coach's perspective. To trust the process, the coach must be willing and able to share their observations, even when it is not accurate for the client. If you have a strong need to be right or perfect, you won't master this.
3. Requires mastery of basic coaching skills
To master knowing your inklings, and sharing them effectively, you must have already mastered the basic coaching skills. If you haven't already mastered the art of asking questions and interpersonal communications, sharing what's there will likely go over like a lead balloon.
What are the benefits of sharing what's there?
1. You accelerate the client's process.
By sharing your inklings, you reduce the normal time gap that occurs in the client's own insights. You are helping eliminate delay.
2. Powerful moments produce huge shifts.
Even when what you are sharing seems small, it is often the pivotal shift required for a larger shift. The aha will be a powerful moment for the client.
3. You begin to trust the coaching process even more.
The more you begin to trust the coaching process, and your skill, the more effective you will be as a coach. Seeing the shifts happen for your client will be immediate feedback to you - thus accelerating your own progress as well. :)
How do you know if you're getting it?
You begin sharing appropriately.
You have identified your own internal signals that you are getting an inkling.
You look forward to inklings because you know it is the beginning of something powerful.
You share freely, without the need to be right or get the client to agree.
You share without self-referencing.
What are some common mistakes when using this Proficiency?
1. The fear of being wrong.
This fear will often keep the coach from sharing, or from allowing the client the room to have their own inklings. When you being right is more important than serving the client, you're not really coaching.
2. Saving face.
No need to save face because you haven't done anything wrong. It's not about you, it's about them.
3. Not asking permission.
Remember to talk about your style at the beginning of the coaching relationship. Reinforce it throughout by gently introducing the inkling.
4. Being impatient.
Let the client talk before you jump in with your share. Don't worry. You won't forget it, and you may inkle even deeper the more you hear from the client.
5. Self-referencing.
Have we said this enough?
6. Doubting your inklings.
If you need to know where every thought you have comes from, you will dramatically slow the coaching process. This doesn't mean to share every single thought you have, necessarily. Listen and trust.
7. Not knowing the client or potential cultural differences.
If you are going to be sharing what's there, it's worth finding out how to do that most effectively. Some cultures have different expectations about confrontation or sharing. Create mutually agreeable guidelines early on.
Class Notes
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