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Introduction
Reveals the Client to Themselves
The more aware anyone is, the better choices they can make for themselves. Part of what Certified Coaches do with clients is to help them discover their gifts, talents, wants, values, needs and dreams, as well as come to understand what motivates and inspires them. The result? A well-informed client, quickly moving forward on their path of self-awareness.
Examples:
1. Point to their unseen gifts/secret aspirations.
2. Help them see their way of thinking/paradigm.
3. Help to identify their sources of motivation/energy.
The key distinction is awareness vs. information.
What is the purpose of this Learning Guide?
1. To explain what is meant by "Reveals the client to themselves".
2. To demonstrate how to use this proficiency with your clients.
3. To identify what is worth revealing.
4. To point out the benefits of using this proficiency with the client.
5. To provide examples of questions that may be used to work in this area with your client.
During the one-hour overview TeleClass, the instructor will cover the following...
1. Explains the concept of "Reveals the client to themselves".
2. Illustrates with role-plays how to engage the client in dialogue around this area.
3. Uses examples of questions that will help the client in this process.
What is meant by "Reveals the client to themselves?
Clients are often oblivious as to:
1. Who they are.
They are unaware of their talents, strengths, the secret aspirations, which drive them forward, and the unseen "gifts" they give others. Gifts can include:
a. Talents and abilities - music, arts, science, sports, etc.
b. Personality traits - happy, kind, stimulating, calm, resilient, etc.
c. Character - wisdom, strength, integrity, compassion, etc.
2. Where they are coming from.
The paradigms that condition the way they perceive the world and its obstacles and opportunities. Paradigms are beliefs about reality so powerful that they filter all incoming information and discard anything that is contrary. i.e.:
a. Life is a struggle
b. All Muslims are terrorists
c. Coach training takes 3 years
d. Americans will never buy small cars
e. All male ballet dancers are gay
3. How they operate.
Their sources of personal energy, how they are motivated in both positive and negative ways. Sources of energy include:
a. drama/conflict, the "saga".
b. adrenaline.
c. Winning, #1, victorious.
d. need to be right.
e. hope, joy, harmony.
f. unmet needs.
g. anger, hate, jealousy.
h. need to serve.
How does revealing the client to themselves help the client progress?
What are the general truths about revealing the client to themselves?
1. The more we know about ourselves, the easier it is to get what we really want.
2. We usually need another person to help us see important parts of ourselves or our lives.
3. Most of us are fairly uninformed about ourselves.
What is the role of the coach?
It is the role of the coach to assist the client to discover themselves in terms of who they are, how they operate, and where they are coming from.
What are the benefits to the client?
1. They become surprisingly effective.
2. They operate with less resistance.
3. They gain in courage and strength.
4. They will be able to recognize old, outdated paradigms and be more receptive to adopt new ones.
5. They will in time become super conductive by reveling in themselves.
How do you use this proficiency in working with clients?
The process is self-discovery. The technique to use is questioning. Think of peeling away layers, uncovering, discovering.
 Lift Limitations
Point out their assumptions. Offer different frameworks. Identify what "tethers" them to their current results.
Identify Core Elements
Reveal elements of their personality. Point out what is motivating them. Help them see what their values are and how they are impacting their results.
Expand the possibilities
Ask them what their mission or vision is? Help them identify all their resources. Surface up, or point out, what their gifts are.
How do you know you have revealed the right thing to the client?
The client has an a-ha moment.
The client sees themselves in a more empowering way.
The client has been freed up in some way.
What's worth revealing?
What are questions you can use to reveal the client to themselves?
1. Examples of questions to reveal who they are, their gifts and aspirations, are:
a. Sure seems to me that what you have is a gift in that area.
b. Do I hear a secret desire to.........?
c. Are you taking that gift for granted?
d. Now THAT'S a gift!
e. What would you like to accomplish in life that you have told no one else about?
f. What are you passionate about?
g. What have people always said you are good at?
h. What is it that you do so easily that it amazes people?
i. Has any anyone ever mentioned that ......?
j. Sounds like ............
2. Examples of questions to reveal where they are coming from:
a. So the way you're seeing this is......
b. How would you have to change your thinking so that it shows up as an opportunity instead of a crisis?
c. In some worlds that wouldn't be a problem.
d. Suppose the opposite were true, what then?
e. What's behind that idea?
3. Examples of questions to reveal how they operate, where they get their energy from:
a. Have we ever talked about energy sources?
b. What part of this situation is giving you energy or fueling you?
c. How clean of an energy source is that?
d. Wow! Seriously, where do you get all that energy?
e. Do you really want adrenaline to be your primary source of energy?
f. Are you interested in upgrading your source of energy?
g. I wonder if you're aware that you're complaining a lot?
h. Can we talk about sources of energy that could sustain you for a lifetime?
What should the coach know in order to work with this proficiency?
1. Be aware of the variety of gifts and aspirations that clients may have.
2, Have a thorough list of questions to ask in each of the 3 areas, gifts and aspirations; paradigms; source of energy.
3. Understand the power of paradigms and how they can blind the client to what may appear to be logical to the coach.
4. Be prepared to ask for revelations to occur.
5. Help the client to understand that people are often oblivious to who they are, where they come from, and how they operate. Bring the client into the game.
6. Clients very often take their gifts for granted.
7. There are always layers to come off. It doesn't matter who does the peeling, as long as they come off!
8. Be curious.
9. It may take a day or two, a week, a year to fully become aware. Be patient.
What are the 12 Primary Sources of Energy?
What mistakes do coaches make in working with this proficiency?
1. Saying. "You are X..."
Be careful about putting them in a box. Clients often think whatever the coach says must be true. Be aware of a tendency to do this.
2. Telling, instead of questioning.
If you tell them, they'll resist! Rather than telling them what you think they are, ask questions to help them uncover it for themselves.
3. Making this a mission.
It's up to the client to accept or not. And, you might actually be wrong. Invite the discussion (see proficiency #1 - engages in provocative conversations).
4. Debating or convincing.
Don't turn this into an intellectual contest. Share what you observe, share inklings, and ask questions.
Class Notes
Training Call | here
"Here's one for the medical journals: Woman Grows a New Backbone!", quipped my client after relating a series of recent successes. What transformed a decades-long "human doormat" into a person who is in full charge of her relationships? Someone who is commanding more respect in the business community, owner of a growing business, and has gone from disorganized to efficient, effective, pleasant organization? It was the proficiency, "Reveals the Client to Themselves." Conditioned habit patterns of what a "good girl" SHOULD be couldn't stand in the face of the truth of who she really is: bright, witty, strong-willed, opinionated, highly intuitive, able to quickly hone in on what's most relevant, and big-hearted. Family, friends and associates are being inspired by her new found self-confidence, too."
-Kurt Vander Weg http://www.potentialife.com/
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