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Introduction
Navigates via curiosity.
The coach who is naturally curious can be well-guided by that curiosity. After all, coaches are in the discovery business and how can you help the client find new and better ways of doing things, if you are not curious? And the real benefit of curiosity is that it leads to learning for both the coach and client.
Examples:
1. Be curious about situations.
2. Be curious about dynamics.
3. Be curious about the facts.
The key distinction is curiosity vs. information gathering.
The Purpose of This Learning Guide
1. To explain the Proficiency.
2. To show how mastering this Proficiency makes you a better coach.
3. To provide key resources to assist you in mastering this Proficiency.
What the instructor covers in this teleclass
1. What curiosity is and why this is a Proficiency?
2. Curious questions to ask.
3. How does it makes you a better coach?
4. How to know if you are getting it or not.
5. Common mistakes coaches makes while using this proficiency.
What is navigating via curiosity? Some distinctions...
1. Interested vs. Interesting
Being curious is having a genuine interest in the client and their situation. When you are being curious, you are focused on the client rather than on yourself and how you are doing as a coach. Being curious is about being intrigued by the client (or the situation), rather than you trying to be intriguing to the client.
2. Questions vs. Interrogation
As a coach you get to ask lots of questions, and that's the most obvious ways to express curiosity. Being curious is not the same thing as information gathering. Pay attention to whether you are questioning from curiosity or shifting into interrogation mode. If you are interrogating, the client will resist, whereas if you are curious, it will help the client open up - to themselves as well as you. They can tell when you're on the hunt.
3. Navigating vs. Driving
Remember that your role as the coach is to navigate, not drive the client or provide the power for movement. When you navigate via curiosity, you are using curiosity to draw out whatever might be there. In doing so, the client may find their way into a whole new area of inspiration.
4. Curiosity for the sake of curiosity
Most coaching sessions are results-oriented. After all, isn't that what your clients are paying you for? Interestingly - or perhaps curiously - when you are simply curious for the sake of discovery, not with a specific agenda or outcome in mind, the client often makes much more progress. Why? Because it helps them get to the most interesting parts for them as well.
5. Innocence
True curiosity comes from a place of innocence. Mastering innocence, after having it trained out of you, is often difficult. Being truly, innocently curious means not having an agenda for the conversation. When the coach is intentional, it can sometimes act as a barrier between the coach and the client.
How do you navigate via curiosity?
 Care less about...
The outcome.
Impressing the client.
Sharing "facts".
Let go of a need to...
Provide value.
Fix or resolve the problem.
Change the client or the circumstances.
Be more...
Innocent and childlike in your questions.
Interested in the client.
Trusting of the process.
What are some general truths about navigating via curiosity?
1. Curiosity opens more doors than interrogation.
2. When you are curious, it gets the client thinking.
3. Curiosity strengthens your intuition.
4. Curiosity can presence unexpected value.
What is there to be curious about?
1. The situation.
2. The dynamic.
3. The person.
4. The facts.
How do you know you're really being curious?
1. The client opens up.
2. The client takes the initiative to think.
3. You learn something new.
4. The client becomes a more curious person.
What do you need to let go of to navigate via curiosity?
Why is this a Proficiency?
1. Requires Keen Self-Awareness and Self-Confidence
The ability to navigate via curiosity requires a keen sense of self-awareness, and ability to get out of the way of the process so that it can evolve naturally. To master navigating via curiosity, a coach must feel confident in themselves and their abilities to handle any situation. Curiosity is a place of not knowing yet, and not being results-oriented. It takes an advanced coach to be comfortable with this.
2. Nuances
Navigating via curiosity is a subtle skill with many nuances. It's somewhat difficult to put in to words, but you'll know it when you have it. All coaches learn how to ask questions, but how do you know which questions to ask - the questions that take you both to a deeper level of understanding and inspiration? The nuances are subtle.
3. Being courageous and trusting the process
To really navigate with curiosity, not jump into solution mode, means having faith in the process of coaching, trusting in the joy of being curious, knowing that it is valuable in it's own right. The less courageous coach feels compelled or obligated to share their opinion, give advice, or jump into solution mode in order to "add value". Coaches have been trained to move the client forward. With curiosity, it just appears to go nowhere for awhile.
4. The ability to BE without performing
The Certified Coach is one who has moved beyond the beginner level where there is great concern about adding value and performing. The Certified Coach understands that who they are, and their curiosity, is the greatest gift they bring to the coaching relationship.
Benefits - How does navigating via curiosity makes you a better coach?
1. Leads to learning for both the coach and the client.
By uncovering what is intriguing and inspiring to the client, you both learn more about what is most important to the client.
2. Creates a relationship with the client.
When you are navigating via curiosity, you are fully present with the client, not assuming you know what is best. Also, by demonstrating real curiosity, the client feels valued and trust is enhanced.
3. Gets you off the hot-seat.
When you're being curious, the client does most of the work. You ask the provocative questions, and the client figures it out.
4. It expands possibilities.
When you and the client are in discovery mode rather than problem-solving mode, there is an openness, and opening-up that occurs. New ways of thinking about the situation, facts, or dynamics can be discovered.
5. Uncovers nuances that might otherwise be hidden.
By being curious, you can help uncover nuances or hidden concerns or lack of clarity that you might not notice if you forge ahead into solving the problem or creating the strategic plan. By avoiding the tendency to solve, you actually help the issue evolve.
6. Heightens your awareness of inklings and intuitions.
As you develop this Proficiency, you will become more attuned to the inklings and intuitions you get as a coach. Learning to read these, and act on them, advances you significantly as an in-demand coach.
7. Provides structure and content for future coaching sessions.
If the client doesn't get clear about what you are discussing, it means they aren't clear about moving forward with it. That's great because it gives you a great topic to structure coaching around
What are some curious questions?
1. What is something intriguing you are working on or have been thinking about?
2. What is it that intrigues/inspires you about that?
3. Where do you fit in that?
4. Tell me more about that.
How do you know if you're getting it?
You are having fun!
Being curious is having fun. It has a lightness about it that isn't felt when you are super agenda-oriented.
You are not worried about your performance.
To be really curious about someone or their situation, you have to be focused on them, not thinking about yourself and how well you are doing as a coach. You can only be genuinely curious when you are truly present with the client.
The client is uncovering a deeper inspiration and awareness.
The client will start having "aha" experiences. You will hear their own curiosity get peaked as you navigate this way.
You are building a bond with the client.
The client is usually the center of attention when you are coaching. When you are navigating via curiosity, it is a blend of the topic becoming the center of attention, and the client being so important that you are eager to know more about them. This blend creates a safe environment free of judgment in which the client feels genuinely cared for.
You FEEL curious, intrigued, and can't wait to find out more.
Do you have a great job or what?!
What are some common mistakes when using this Proficiency?
Trying too hard.
Most coaches try too hard to "do it right". Clients can feel the angst in your voice.
Asking too many questions - even peppering the client with questions.
Note the point above about questions vs. interrogating. Why are you asking those particular questions? Is it to gather information, or is it discover more about the topic?
Talking about yourself.
A common mistake for coaches who feel a need to show they've "been there before." When you are being truly curious, you have no idea where the conversation will go. Get into the Zen of it all, no proving allowed.
Judging too quickly.
Being curious is perhaps the opposite of laser coaching. While you may find yourself asking laser like questions, avoid the temptation to believe you know the answer. You will get inklings and hunches. Trust them, and ask questions to draw the client out. Don't tell them. Be willing to accept that you might be off in your assessment.
Trying to prove your value.
This seems to show up mostly when coaches are unsure of their own value - and especially if they have a bag full of tricks they want to use. Relax into the process.
Being too agenda-oriented.
Again, the desire to "get something done". If you let curiosity be your guide and then ask your client what they got out of the session, you might be surprised to hear they felt it was the most valuable session to date.
Class Notes
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