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Introduction
Recognizes perfection in every situation
One way of looking at life is to believe that everything happens for a perfectly good reason, even if we cannot always see or know that reason within our own lifetime. The point here is to look for and find how a client's event, problem, situation or trait is perfect, even if it's clearly not. Seeking to understand and recognizing perfection first, instead of offering tips, techniques and solutions as a knee-jerk reaction, is what the Certified Coach does naturally.
The Purpose of This Learning Guide
1. To explain how to recognize perfection in every situation.
2. To show how mastering this Proficiency makes you a better coach.
3. To explain the difference between believing in perfection and forcing perfection.
4. To provide key resources to assist you in mastering this Proficiency.
What the instructor covers in this TeleClass
1. What Recognizing Perfection is.
2. The difference between responding vs. reaction.
3. How to use this distinction in your coaching.
What is Recognizing Perfection in Every Situation?
1. The ability to look at events and know there are other possibilities.
Recognizing perfection doesn't mean that things are "ideal" or the way the client would have consciously chosen it. It does mean being able to identify different possible meanings, seeing multiple realities. Transcend your own bias against the word "perfect."
2. Being in discovery mode.
When you are looking for the lesson, you may actually miss the perfection because you are so results focused. Get curious.
3. Really believing in Perfection.
Perfection is a paradigm shift for most people. If something really is perfect, it doesn't require you to fix it. If you attempt to fix or solve the situation, you are attempting to force your meaning onto the situation, which is antithetical to perfection.
4. Identifying the Greater Truth of the situation.
There is always a Greater Truth than what the client is currently seeing. The perfection is in there.
What are the general truths about recognizing the perfection in every situation?
1. Things occur for a crystal clear reason, or not; that reason may never be known in our lifetime.
2. When the coach sees the perfection in a situation, they coach better.
3. When perfection is seen, instant and substantial change is more likely to be made.
How do you recognize the perfection in every situation?
 Look beyond...
When you look beyond the current situation you can see more. Allow the client to look beyond missed opportunities, the immediate loss. When the client can see beyond the present moment, they can begin to recognize opportunities and possibilities.
Be with...
When you allow yourself and the client to be with the doubt, their reactions and yours, you create a connection that allows for looking beyond.
Discern the...
What is the greater truth about the situation? What is the underlying dynamic that is operating? What is the source of the challenge? Could it be a source of opportunity?
What is the value of recognizing the perfection in every situation?
The client (and you) moves from resistance, personalizing and blame, to accepting, utilizing, and transcending the perceived challenge.
What are some questions to ask to reveal the perfection?
1. What's perfect about this? or if that's too difficult...What could be perfect about this?
2. If this were the first step toward a significant, perfect experience/change, what would that mean? What would that change be?
3. Tell me a time when something didn't work out as planned, but ended up being much better.
What are things that don't seem perfect, yet could be seen as perfect?
Why is this a Proficiency?
1. Requires maturity and finesse.
It's easy to overdo this one. You must use finesse and great rapport, and be wise about when you bring this up with a client. You, of course, can still come from this perspective without voicing it to the client.
2. The coach must really believe it.
If you haven't adopted this frame of reference, then you are just faking it, and your client will be able to tell. To master this proficiency, recognizing the perfection in every situation must be your default.
3. Neutrality vs. drama.
Your clients may have a lot of drama, intense drama even. The Certified Coach does not get seduced by this. Drama has a way of keeping us there - that's why clients keep recreating it.
4. Requires mastery of basic coaching skills.
You have to have the basics handled before you can really approach this with confidence. Let it evolve, look for the evidence the there really is perfection in every situation.
What are the benefits of recognizing perfection in every situation?
1. Your own life will be more perfect.
When you master this proficiency and it becomes one of your default frames of reference, your own life will feel more perfect. You will find that you have more reserves and you won't get in your own way when coaching.
2. Increased resiliency.
Coaching from this proficiency helps your client build muscle for dealing with challenges and adversity; in fact it will shift their paradigm so that adversity feels different.
3. Empowers the client.
Mastering this proficiency allows you to lead the client to discover their own power, and to take the negative charge out of difficult situations.
4. Puts both of you in discovery mode.
Discovery mode is a creative process, opening up possibilities. Your client will feel more empowered and come up with better ideas from this framework than from forcing a solution or being in quick-fix mode.
5. Increases the client's responsibility.
When the client feels responsible and empowered, they will be able to respond rather than react.
6. Helps client strengthen in many areas.
Recognizing the perfection in every situation allows the client to strengthen their sense of self-responsibility, resourcefulness, creative problem-solving, transforming disappointment into something better.
How do you know if you're getting it?
1. Your immediate response is to look for perfection, no matter what the circumstances. (You'll start to show up in the rest of your life this way, too.)
2. Your clients are making significant shifts and getting into action - whether they actually believe the situation is perfect or not.
3. You respond vs. react.
4. It begins to be a fun game for you.
5. You recognize multiple realities.
6. You recognize that what the client is looking at is framing, rather than "reality".
7. You stop needing to use pain to grow.
8. You relax, because it makes total sense.
9. You discern the underlying dynamic.
10. You see the greater truth.
11. You are comfortable with discomfort.
What are some common mistakes when using this Proficiency?
1. Forcing perfection vs. allowing perfection.
Don't be too zealous too fast. For example, if the client is in the depths of their drama, you probably don't want to exclaim, "How perfect!" Lead the client to evolve their recognition of perfection.
2. Reacting vs. responding.
Don't jump in to fix it. Ask questions to draw out the perfection. You must be able to BE with the "problem" rather than solving it or making it go away.
3. Thinking it's not really perfect.
As the coach, you must be able to see perfection, or at the very least you must know there is perfection present even if you can't see it yet.
4. Being seduced by the drama.
Don't let the story go on too long - or both of you will be wrapped up in it. Ask questions to get clear about what's going on and what the client's framework is, then ask questions to draw out the gems.
Class Notes
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