"Coaching Moments" takes a
thoughtful, and sometimes lighthearted, look at how coaching
can be interwoven into our daily lives.
A coaching hallelujah
by Janice Hunter
Last year at this time, I’d sent
in my tapes for certification and was winding
down, ready for the Big Wait. These past
few days, I’ve been looking back over
what I’ve done with my home life,
my coaching and my writing since then, taking
stock of the year’s unexpected joys
and challenges as well as the dreams I’ve
had to let go of. You may not be a Christian
or even celebrate at this time of the year,
but please bear with me, stay open and join
me in a coach’s exploration of a well
known story, especially if you’re
still recording and planning to submit tapes
before we say goodbye to the Proficiencies
at the end of this month…
Thinking about my abandoned goals usually
leads to me moodling about George Bailey
from the film ‘It’s a Wonderful
Life’; this time I found myself wondering
about Joseph. Were his dreams of a simple
family life turned upside down when he heard
the momentous news about Jesus? How quick
was he to recognise the perfection in the
situation or was he simply stunned for a
while, following his own instincts as well
as trusting the guidance given to him by
a greater power? What we do know is that
he was supportive and loving and that he
didn’t give up and walk away when
things got tough and scary. But in this
story, it isn’t just Joseph who embodies
the coaching qualities that we can use to
strengthen our coaching and enrich our lives.
Imagine
in the dark, frosty crispness of night,
a bright band of angels bursting into glorious
song, the most perfect example of matching
the radiance, joy and vibrational energy
of the occasion. And what a triumph of clear
communication and channelling too! In any
choir – even the angelic kind –
it takes all kinds of unique voices and
a love of synergy, resonance and harmony
to create the kind of soul music that fills
you from your heart to your toes with amazing
Aha!’s.
Imagine too the humanity of the shepherds,
their hearts and minds filled with a tumult
of human thoughts and emotions as they grapple
with shock, overwhelming panic, awe and
hope in the face of an astonishing new reality.
Then there’s the little shepherd boy,
bringing his gift of childlike innocence,
wonder and curiosity to the tableau in the
stable.
And while the shepherds remind us to love
the simple dignity of our humanity, it pleases
me to think of the hardworking ox and ass
instinctively providing warmth with their
bodies and their breath, standing there
powerful yet still in the silence, breathing,
looking on, listening, understanding…
I also like to think of the innkeeper (and
his wife?) contributing practical solutions
and resources – shelter, blankets, food,
a jug of fresh water and directions to the
well – all of this while bustling around,
tending to an innful of guests, reminding
us that people still need to have their
basic needs met, no matter what life changing
events are taking place.
And imagine, silhouetted against the starry
night sky, gliding along on camels, the
three mysterious magi, following a shared
dream, a vision, never stopping till they
reach their destination and deliver their
gifts. Gifts which remind us that value
is subjective and that our skills and senses
are to be cherished: gleaming gold, bringing
with it the power to do great good if it’s
used wisely and with compassion; frankincense,
its heady, smoky fragrance evoking the power
of holy places, prayer and contemplation;
myrrh, the balm that reminds us to treat
our bodies with love and respect and to
tune in and enjoy and them while we can.
The three kings also bring the gifts of
magic and mystery, wisdom and knowledge,
intuition and synchronicity. They travelled
together, sharing support, solidarity and
resources on their long journey towards
the unknown, reminding us that if we remain
open, alert and responsive, we have a lot
to learn from the wisdom and experience
of others, from people of all cultures and
faiths.
But behind this rich tapestry and the birth
of one special child, let’s not forget
the tragedy that arose from Herod’s
terrible personal agenda born of power and
fear, his quickness to judge and his conviction
that he was right. We all have the power
to hurt or help each other, to react or
respond, to forgive or let ourselves be
consumed by fear, pain, bitterness, anger
and overwhelm, but we, as coaches, have
the power and skills to ask the right questions.
And the answer to them all, the simple
answer that glows like a hallelujah in the
silence? Mary, serenely holding the greatest
gift we’ve ever been given. Love.
Pure, unconditional love.
Wishing you a season filled with miracles
and love, wherever you are, whatever you
believe in…
Janice
PS ~ A seasonal gift…
As it’s Christmas, the editor allowed
me a few extra paragraphs to share a practical
gift with those of you who may be daunted
by the certification process and the changes
to the IAC exam, despite knowing your stuff
and being great coaches. Amidst a sometimes
bewildering array of coaching styles, tips,
techniques, paradigms, competencies, proficiencies,
masteries and trends, don’t forget
the power of keeping it simple. A stress-free
approach to passing Step 2? Focus on the
‘who’, the ‘what’
and the ’how’ and make sure
all three are covered in thirty minutes.
Let’s look first at how these three
can be applied to you, the coach. Make sure
your own confidence and authenticity are
sound; know yourself. Know who you are and
be very aware of your values, strengths
and skills, your challenges, limitations
and dodgy defaults and patterns. Your whole
life and your life’s experience are
encompassed in who you are and it’s
a precious gift to give to your client.
Working hard on your ‘who’ helps
you to be present, to be comfortable with
silence and discomfort and to get out of
your own way and become agenda free if you’ve
nothing to prove. It also helps you to be
bold enough to challenge and dig deep, to
name elephants and be responsive enough
to match your client’s energy levels
without becoming affected by them.
Then add the ‘what’. This includes
the skills you’ve learned and have
become unconsciously competent in using.
Add to that the passive knowledge you’ve
acquired, perhaps from years of reading
and study; it’s in there waiting to
show up in the form of resources, new suggestions
and bird’s eye comments on life. The
‘what’ also encompasses your
knowledge of the criteria by which you’ll
be examined, the things you need to demonstrate.
Could you prepare for a school exam if you
didn’t know the syllabus or hadn’t
checked out some past papers? In addition,
the ‘what’ covers what’s
worked for you in the past, what your motives
and inspirations are for coaching in the
first place and what you know your coaching
can deliver.
Marry
the two, the ‘who’ and the ‘what’,
and you get the unique blend that is your
coaching, no-one else’s. The ‘how’
– how you coach, how you’re heard,
how you share and how you inspire and co-create
to deliver results.
Applying the who/what/how principle to
the coaching session itself gives you structure.
Love
and enjoy who they are, respect and relish
who they are, recognise what’s perfect
and great about who they are, be curious
about who they are, reveal their strengths,
paradigms, talents and gifts to them and
by means of your modelling, mirroring, reframing,
sharing and clarifying, inspire them to
do the same for themselves until, together,
you’ve discovered the very essence
of who they are. Then you can champion and
build on that essence and on their greatness
while asking how it can be used to benefit
others.
The ’what’ is the second part
of the session; what’s important,
what they want and need, what they’re
feeling somatically and emotionally, what
their personal definition of success is
in every area and what’s stopping
them from achieving it.
Leading nicely to the ‘how’
– designing and co-creating specific,
measurable, time-framed and sustainable
ways to ensure they get what they want as
well as the support they need. Focusing
on curiosity, championing and the ‘who’
at the beginning of a session is a great
way to get to the heart of the ‘what’
and to stop a session diving too quickly
into solutions.
If we focus on the ‘who’, ‘what’
and ‘how’ in our lives and our
coaching, ‘when’ takes care
of itself, ‘which’ unravels
more easily and ‘why’ fades
into insignificance.
Janice
Hunter is a writer, teacher and IAC certified coach who
currently specialises in homelife coaching – helping people
create authentic, spirit filled lives and homes they love –
and in supporting coaches on their certification journeys.
She lives in Scotland with her husband and two children.
contact
lovingthedetails@aol.com
