El Derecho IAC Mastery #5 Expressing

by
Martha Pasternack

El derecho is a fierce and violent wind event. It is sudden, unexpected and
appears out of nowhere.

When el derecho happens it is frightening because it is powerful enough to
snap a 100-foot tall Ponderosa Pine in half, splintering the tree and sending
it crashing to the ground. I have heard this happen. It is deafening. It is
terrifying.

El derecho is gone as suddenly as it appears, leaving utter perplexity in its
wake. Afterwards, the day becomes peaceful again even as the unabashed destruction
remains.

El derecho.

Our clients experience emotional el derecho events. All may seem to be in order.
Life is peaceful and serene. Then BAM! A force of nature blows through and life
turns to chaos.

El derecho.

Case study: I have been coaching with a client for several months. She was
always present on our calls and practiced the exercises we discussed in between
sessions like an “A” student of personal growth. She was nearing
the point where we were talking about meeting bimonthly because she felt empowered
and skilled enough to live life on her own terms, centered in her intentions
and able to find her footing when she needed to.

On our scheduled call one day she said she had been feeling so great that she
considered asking to reschedule that day’s call. The day before, she realized
she had nothing pressing and was wondering what we would talk about.

But that morning “out of nowhere” she experienced a devastating
betrayal that shattered her sense of stability and sent her into a spiral of
discontent. She told me she was angry, frustrated, crying uncontrollably, confused
and ready to give up any belief that her life could ever be different. Her personal
growth skills had failed her.

She came on the call in that splintered state of hopelessness, self-doubt and
fear.

El derecho.

First things first. I encouraged her to feel her pain and express her frustration
until she felt complete. Yes, I admit, I encouraged her to tell the story of
what happened because I believe that within that story was the pathway back
to her center. Boy, was she mad.

Once she cleared her pain and could make sense of what had happened I asked
her what she was committed to and off we went. This simple act of my listening
deeply and her feeling heard returned her to her stability and her truth. Her
voice became clear, strong and calm and she could think clearly again.

The world as she knew it had changed in an instant. Her desire to center in
trust, truth and love had not. She was able to get clear so she could move forward
using her well-grounded personal power skills in a way she valued. She emerged
from this storm empowered and proactive and committed to her values and the
goodness of life.

After allowing herself to feel what she felt and think what she thought, she
was prepared to respond to the situation rather than react from a place of fear.
She easily moved forward from her gentleness and wisdom. She even was able to
laugh at the absurdity of the situation that confronted her.

El derecho happens to all of us. Finding the courage to stand up after we get
blown over, splintered and even shattered is a gift coaching can bring to our
clients.

Our session concluded with a simple strategy to proceed, and in fact, my client
felt confident enough in her coaching tools and skills to schedule her next
coaching session two months hence.

El derecho. Some days are like that.

Martha Pasternack, MMC www.CircleofLifeCoach.com

My passion for witnessing the beauty and mystery of life, healthy
healing and the promotion of Peace on Earth are integral to my daily
life. I have been life coaching since 2004 as a Fearless Living Coach
after working 30 years as a health care professional.