IAC VOICE, Volume 4, Issue 47, May 2010, Circulation 13,629

Linda

From the Editor  

Greetings, and welcome to the May 2010 issue of the VOICE. In his President's Message, titled The IAC: A Life-Giving Organization, Bob Tschannen-Moran reflects on the life-giving qualities of the newly-adopted IAC strategic plan. He notes how the Plan calls the IAC to not only support coaches and coaching organizations but also to serve the interests of coaching clients and to meet the needs of the world at large.

In the BOG Action News, Susan R. Meyer has her regular monthly updates, as well as an important invitation from Past-President Angela Spaxman.

In our first feature article this month, authors Shawn Ireland and Lorne Kelton present a tool for critical thinking that will help us on the path to self-awareness. Next, regular VOICE contributor Suzi Pomerantz calls us to task again to get serious about building our businesses and make a crucial mind shift about marketing.

Elizabeth Nofziger takes the helm of the Inside Scoop—Ask the Certifiers column this month to answer the question, "Can masterful coaching include yes/no questions?" Finally, in this month's Living the Masteries column, Alison Davis introduces us to coach Louise Legat, who has a beautiful story about how we can use the IAC Coaching Masteries® to turn an inner critic into an inner coach.

Would you like to hear more from our VOICE authors and columnists? Simply visit http://twitter.com/lindadessau/iac-voice-contributors or subscribe to the list from your Twitter account.

Our 2010 submission guidelines for the VOICE are available on the website. Please submit your articles or ideas by May 12th for the June 3rd issue or by June 9th for the July 1st issue.

As always, I would love to hear your article ideas and your feedback about this issue. Enjoy!

Warm wishes,
Linda

Linda Dessau, CPCC
Editor, IAC® VOICE
Email: voice@certifiedcoach.org
www.youtalk-iwrite.com

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From the President
by Bob Tschannen-Moran, IAC-CC
president@certifiedcoach.org

The IAC: A Life-Giving Organization

I don’t know where the IAC would be today without Past President Angela Spaxman and Vice President Joan Marie Johnson, but one thing is clear: we would not be an organization with a long-range, strategic plan. Although many people have worked on the plan, including other Board members, volunteers and interested outsiders, none have worked harder or more consistently than Angela and Joan. The IAC owes them much gratitude and appreciation.

And the IAC is not the only one who ought to be celebrating. Unlike the strategic plans of many professional organizations, the newly-adopted "IAC Vision and Strategic Plan: 2010-2015" goes beyond how the IAC hopes to serve its members and the profession of coaching. It focuses just as clearly and just as passionately on how the IAC hopes its members and the profession of coaching will serve the world. Coaching is not an end in itself; it exists to inspire and invigorate its clients and the wider world with life-enhancing energy. To that end, the new Vision and Plan of the IAC goes beyond the customary focus on helping our members to set and achieve high standards and to make more money. We are bold enough to focus on the contribution our organization and profession can make to the continued evolution of the world itself.

Although this orientation comes through in every section of the Plan, I especially appreciate the following values, affirmations and conceptual frameworks:

  • "The IAC is on a MISSION to provide a highly accountable learning/certification framework for aspiring and experienced coaches, so their mastery of coaching is valued and contributes to evolving human potential worldwide."
  • "The IAC aims to be an inspirational magnet for governments, organizations, clients and coaches who want to learn about coaching mastery in practice."
  • "Coaching is a powerful, viral process that can create a paradigm shift toward collaborative and proactive ways of working among humans in a wide variety of public and private fora."
  • "The IAC enVISIONs a world where coaching professionals commit to continuously learning, growing, collaborating and holding themselves accountable; coaching recipients are inspired to achieve their desired outcomes; and the world benefits in many surprising, life-giving ways."

That’s pretty heady stuff, yet that is the stuff that has gotten me so excited about the IAC. As coaches, we are not in this business just to make a living (although we certainly enjoy ourselves more when we do). As coaches, we are in this business to make a life-giving difference. We truly hope and believe it is possible to change the world, one conversation at a time. Our new Vision and Plan calls the IAC to be an integral part of that transformation.

You’ll be hearing a lot more about this Vision and Plan in the months to come. It will affect everything we do, including our approach to certification and licensing. I will leave our many excellent BOG members and IAC volunteers to explain and execute the details. I do, however, want to highlight an overarching theme in our Vision and Plan that speaks to both our orientation and approach when it comes to making these bold claims: personalized learning agreements.

I don’t know of another professional association that takes such an approach. In every other instance, professionals are told both which hoops they have to jump through and exactly how they have to jump. In the case of the IAC, however, professionals are invited to define their approach to achieving and maintaining coaching mastery. This goes for certification of coaching professionals as well as for licensing of coach training programs and mentors. The IAC sets a high standard with our nine, internationally-validated Coaching Masteries®. That is the bar we seek to hurdle and maintain. But how each coach, training program and mentor goes about that task is a highly personalized affair. The IAC affirms, recognizes, supports and celebrates such individuation.

One inspiration for this approach is a story from Ben Zander, conductor of the Boston Philharmonic and teacher at the New England Conservatory of Music. To unleash the creativity, potential and genius of his music students, he announces at the start of each academic year, "Each student in this class will get an A for the course, however, there is one requirement that you must fulfill to earn this grade: sometime in the next two weeks you must write me a letter dated next May, which begins with the words, ‘Dear Mr. Zander, I got my A because…,’ and in this letter you are to tell, in as much detail as you can, the story of what will have happened to you by next May that is in line with this extraordinary grade." (The Art of Possibility, 2000, p. 27)

That is the something like the approach the IAC hopes to take through our new Vision and Plan. We intend to require coaches, training programs and mentors who seek IAC certification and /or licensing to, in effect, annually write and submit a letter that describes the story of what they will have done over the course of the next year to achieve and to maintain coaching mastery. We do not define a path of development or a portfolio of business that all coaches have to follow or achieve; we rather define a process for accountable, personalized learning that invigorates and brings out the best in us all.

If that sounds as inviting, exciting and refreshing to you as it does to us, then perhaps it’s time to join or to renew your membership in the IAC today. I look forward to sharing the journey with you in the months and years to come.

May you be filled with goodness, peace and joy,
Bob

 

Bob Tschannen-Moran, IAC-CC, is President of LifeTrek Coaching International. Together with this wife, Megan, Bob has written a new book titled Evocative Coaching (Jossey-Bass, July 2010), which incorporates the IAC Coaching Masteries® in a coaching model designed for leaders and coaches in K-12 schools. www.EvocativeCoaching.com 

   
 

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BOG Action News
by Susan R. Meyer, IAC-CC

The Board of Governors (BOG) continues to be very busy putting a number of initiatives in place that will help increase IAC's membership and strengthen services to our members. Susan Meyer and Kerul Kassel completed a survey for new and renewing members to find out how we can best serve you. If you are new to IAC or have recently renewed your membership, expect a welcome letter with a link to the survey to arrive soon.

If you are a continuing member, expect to hear from us every so often as well. We will be conducting brief surveys to be sure we are in touch with what will strengthen and enrich your relationship with IAC.

Speaking of membership, we are delighted that Doris Helge has assumed leadership of the Membership Committee. She's looking for a few excellent volunteers to assist her in exceeding our goal of over 5,000 paid members by 2015. To find out more about volunteering, please contact Kristi Arndt at kristiarndt@yahoo.com (Subject: IAC Volunteer) or volunteersforum@certifiedcoach.org

Kerul Kassel, who leads the Member Benefits Committee, has obtained liability insurance for IAC members at a discounted rate through Westminster Indemnity. Because Westminster is an international provider, members outside the United States can now take advantage of this benefit.

Culminating more than a year of work, the five-year Strategic Plan was approved at the April meeting. It will shape the direction of current initiatives including our website redesign, support for our chapters and the activities of the newly re-established Research Committee.

Bonnie Chan, Angela Spaxman and Natalie Tucker Miller gave an enthusiastic report on IAC's first International Conference in Shanghai. BOG members are excited about many more live events in the future. Please contact us at membership@certifiedcoach.org with your ideas, or if you're interested in working with us on this.

Are you interested in making new connections to advance masterful coaching worldwide? Want to join a team of inspired, creative, leading international coaches in supporting the mission of IAC? As requests for licenses increase, the IAC Licensing Committee is looking to expand by adding 1-3 more members to their team. Our goal is to manage and promote the IAC Coaching Masteries Licensing Program and to support the continuous improvement of our Licensees. Volunteers would be involved in networking, connecting with universities, schools, mentors etc., as well as tasks like copywriting, policy-writing, marketing, strategic thinking and planning.

If you are a current paid member of IAC, can commit to monthly telephone meetings at approximately 8:00 a.m. UK / 3:00 p.m. Hong Kong and you're willing to spend several hours every month on forwarding our goals, this is a great opportunity for you! You will be: interacting with leading, creative, inspired coaches, contributing to advancing the practice of masterful coaching worldwide; making new connections with coaches and coaching schools; and supporting the IAC's mission, vision and values.

Interested? Please email Angela Spaxman explaining what inspires you to work with the Licensing Committee and the skills you would bring to our team: pastpresident@certifiedcoach.org

     

Susan R. Meyer, IAC-CC is President of Susan R. Meyer, Coaching and Consulting and of Life-Work Coach. She provides personal and executive coaching and facilitates seminars on topics including life planning, emotional intelligence, leadership development, communication, and coaching skills for managers. www.susanrmeyer.com

   
   

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New IAC Coaching Masteries® licensed schools and mentors

NameCityStateCountryIAC-CC 
Center for Evocative CoachingWilliamsburgVAUS United StatesYes View Details

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IAC Chapter News—1st International IAC Coaching Conference, Shanghai
by Susie Li

The 2010 Shanghai Coaching Conference, "The Centre of Coaching in China: Advancing to International Excellence," was a great success. Hosted by the IAC Shanghai Chapter, the event took place on Friday, 19 March 2010 at the Grand Mercure Hotel.

The 101 participants included coaches, executives, educators, trainers and human resource professionals. Most were from Shanghai, in addition to attendees from Hong Kong, Taiwan, Singapore, Australia and Japan. Our Keynote Speaker Natalie Tucker Miller flew in from the US especially for this event.

The conference began with a panel discussion, "The Role and Impact of Coaching for Individuals and Corporations in China," facilitated by Angela Spaxman, Past President of IAC (pictured above). Out of the discussion, some insights emerged regarding coaching Chinese people in China. Culturally, coaching is from the US. When putting coaching into the context of Chinese society, it is worthwhile to note a couple of things. First of all, building rapport and trust may take a few sessions before a Chinese client opens up. Further, Chinese people are non-confrontational; they do not open up when challenged.

The group discussed desirable applications for coaching Chinese people in China, including parent coaching to support parents and parents-to be, in addition to coaching for young children to support their development as they grow. With regard to corporate clients in China, they would evaluate a coach in terms of their qualification, their integrity and their passion as a coach.

After the panel discussion, a choice of concurrent sessions was offered, including "The Essentials of a Masterful Coach," "A New Map for a New Age—Corporate Coaching Culture," "Roadmap to Becoming a Professional Coach" and "Successful Executive Coaching Model in Japan."

As an introductory exploration of professional coaching and coaching in China, the 2010 Shanghai Coaching Conference was very well-received. Many participants enjoyed the conference tremendously, finding it a wonderful opportunity for sharing and exchanging. Many were inspired by it, as seen by the birth of various initiatives:

* Experienced coaches from Hong Kong and Taiwan are committed to go for their IAC and ICF certifications.

* Ms. Bonnie Chan, an IAC-Certified Coach, will be going to Shanghai regularly to give small group talks, and to participate in exchanges about coaching and IAC masteries.

* Highly experienced coaches started a dialogue towards organizing a coaching reflection retreat in a nature-connected venue.

* A trainer will explore a practical coaching approach for his clients’ companies.

* A participant has committed to become a parenting coach.

* On April 12, 2010, Mr. Jiang Yu succeeded Bonnie Chan as the new President of the IAC Shanghai Chapter (http://www.certifiedcoach.org/chapters/chapters.html#China) . He invites conference participants to contact him for further conversation about the topics discussed.

* Participants have formed their own interest groups from the conference.

* Ms. Natalie Tucker, IAC Certified Coach and Lead Certifier from the US, expressed that there are more similarities than differences between coaching in the US and Asia. There were also discussions as to how the IAC can support the development of coaching in Asia.

Thanks to the precious time and efforts of many volunteers, in particular from the IAC Shanghai Chapter, for making the Shanghai Coaching Conference a successful event, from which many initiatives begin.

 
 
 
Susie Li, Career Coach, supports her clients to identify their unique personal qualities and leverage them in a suitable career and organization, so that they thrive in a career they love.
 

 

 

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The Art of Critically Balanced Thinking
by Dr. Shawn Ireland and Lorne Kelton

In the fast-paced world we live in, how often do we make decisions without really thinking critically? How often do we find coachees—and ourselves as coaches—constrained by biases and assumptions?

The challenge is not a lack of interest or effort but rather the lack of an effective method to address the contradictions and frustrations that stand in the way of thinking critically. Help is at hand. The IFRAME process is a new and useful tool enabling coaches to untangle the perceived complexity of critical thinking, and provides a practical formula to address the challenges in today's demanding environments. It enables us to explore our long-held assumptions, and to bring our thoughts into focus and analyse them. It also provides an opportunity to change the way we think in order to achieve more desirable outcomes.

The IFRAME Critical Thinking Process

 

 

What do I do?

What happens next?

I

Incident

Pay attention to an inciting incident that happens to me or that I trigger

An inciting incident significantly upsets the balance of forces in my life

F

Feelings

Have an emotional reaction to the incident

I experience a physical, mental or spiritual reaction to what has happened

R

Reflection

Ask myself and others probing questions to understand my response to the incident

I probe where my assumptions, biases and reactions are coming from

A

Assumptions

Bring my assumptions about the incident to the surface to verify their validity and analyse their consequences

I get honest with myself and look for trends and patterns in my biases and assumptions

M

Meaning

Interpret the meaning and apply this heightened awareness to incidents in my life

I challenge my assumptions and explore new ways of thinking about the incident

E

Execution

Formalise the process with action planning to apply to future incidents

I implement a disciplined strategy to achieve new critical thinking outcomes

We all approach issues in a different way and have different ways of thinking. So, when exploring with coachees their interpretation of a situation, we have to listen and observe deeply to understand the personal preferences that are influencing the way they think. As coachees relate and reflect on incidents, we are then able to "tune in" to their preferred approach, and help them to become more self-aware and to better process their thoughts.

In our practice we are finding that linking the IFRAME critical thinking process with MBTI profiles is a powerful experience for both coachee and coach. For instance, if the coachee is an "F," then their approach to reflection will be more people and relationship focused. However, a "T" will be more focused on logic and facts than relationships. The reflective approach of an "S" is to focus on the interaction with their environment and the physical response to it. An "N" listens to their inner voice, so their reflection is more experiential in nature.

With these different profiles in mind, and through active listening, careful and varied questioning, paying attention to the coachee's use of language, emotions and body language, we are able to guide coachees in using the IFRAME in the way that suits them best. The clarity and self-awareness that ensue for the coachee are quite revelatory, like a dark cloud lifting, an "A-ha moment."

The IFRAME is flexible and easy-to-use, with each of the six steps representing a milestone in the journey to becoming critically self-aware, enabling us to appreciate the assumptions we make and explore new ways of thinking critically.


 
Dr. Shawn Ireland, EdD, is Managing Director of HRCgroup, an international management development and organisation development practice. He is a psychologist with some 25 years' experience in coaching and leadership development. shawn.ireland@hrc-group.com

 
 

 

   

 

Lorne Kelton, MEd, is president of ThinkShift Performance Solutions, a Learning and Development company. He focuses on innovative learning practices enabling organisations to achieve performance breakthroughs. lorne@thinkshift.com 

 

 

 

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Why Aren’t You Marketing Your Business?
by Suzi Pomerantz

As a coach, there are many challenges you face when it comes to building your coaching business: the economy, market saturation and that you were never really taught what to do other than give away a free session.

But none of those is the real reason you aren’t seeing the results you want from your marketing efforts. The real reason is that you have some expectations, fears or assessments that are blocking you from taking the right action. Your mindset needs work.

Does this sound like you?

"I talk about coaching to everyone I know, but they just don't seem to get it."

"I’ll be ready to market my business when I finish my website."

"I’ll be ready to market my business when I’m clearer about my message."

"I don’t know who my niche target market will be yet, so I can’t start now."

"I've been to so many networking breakfasts and I haven’t gotten any clients! Networking doesn't work! "

"I’m on all the social media sites but I’m not making any money online."

These are common concerns I hear when speaking to coaches all over the world about their business development challenges. Do you see the common theme in these statements? These are all coach-focused (I talk, my website, my message, my niche, I've been, I’m on, etc.). See the pattern?

Mindset shift required

It’s time to be other-focused. You can’t sell coaching if you’re focused on yourself as the coach, and you can’t sell coaching if you’re focused on coaching as the solution.

You must focus on the client. You must demonstrate with your language that you care about their goals. You must seek to understand their world, their mindsets, their challenges, their fears, their issues, their dreams, their roadblocks, their strengths. It’s all about them. Marketing is not about coaching and it’s not about you.

Let’s get more specific:

Marketing is a push outward of the material and messaging around the results you produce with your clients; it’s what you say about yourself, your services, your products, your results, your methodologies and your business. You will use a variety of media to do this: web, publications, speaking, advertising, social media, etc.

Networking is about creating a genuine human connection—with no agenda beyond genuinely connecting. It’s about seeking ways to serve. It’s about exploring possibility. It’s about gathering people into your circle. It’s not about going to formal networking events, rather it’s about engaging with communities that are meaningful for you. That way, you’ll be connecting with other folks with whom you already share a common passion, so that even if they are not seeking a coach, they will be great sources for referrals for you! This, by the way, is the power of social media…Twitter is an especially great networking tool!

Branding is about how you’re regarded in your industry, in the market, in your community and in the world, and is about shaping and managing what you want others to say about you. What are you known for? What distinguishes you from all the other coaches out there? Social media is also helpful with branding.

Selling is about having a specific, systematic conversation to propose or offer an equal exchange of value, and the acceptance of that proposal or offer. It’s those conversations you have with prospective buyers where you determine their buying motives and seek to understand their decision-making influences so that you can match your offer to their reality in a way that will compel them to buy from you.

To succeed in business as a coach, you need to become skilled at all of the above. Marketing your business is not enough to make a decent living. You need to be networking, marketing, branding and selling your business strategically and simultaneously in order to get the fastest results.

The good news is that none of this is far outside of what you already do well as a coach. The key thing to remember is to shift your focus onto the other person. Then all of your coaching strengths will kick in, you’ll let go of your self-consciousness, and your other-consciousness will allow you to see exactly how to best serve the client.

 
 

Suzi Pomerantz, MT, MCC, is a CEO, the author of Seal the Deal and an award-winning Master Executive Coach with 17 years experience coaching leaders and teams. She is the founder of the Leading Coaches’ Center and co-founder of the Library of Professional Coaching as well as ICCO. http://LeadingCoachesCenter.com
 
 

 

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Can Masterful Coaching Include Yes/No Questions?
by Elizabeth Nofziger, IAC-CC 

This month, certifying examiner Elizabeth Nofziger helps a member understand the nuances of coaching questions.

"During a coaching triad call I was part of last week, it was mentioned that IAC certifiers do not like to hear ‘yes’ or ‘no’ questions in a recording. … Sometimes I do utilize yes or no questions with clients. This is a handy strategy to use when a client is having trouble clarifying plans or goals. My question: Is it true that a coach that poses a yes or no question to a client is not, according to IAC certifiers, displaying masterful coaching and that this can prevent a coach from becoming certified?"

As coaches dedicated to mastery, we work to refine our skills to offer the most to our clients. One of the ways we do this is by expanding their awareness to include new possibilities. Another way we do this is by helping our clients hone in, focus on and clarify what is most important to them.

As the questioner points out, it is absolutely true that yes/no questions can lead to increased clarity (Mastery #6). They can also demonstrate that the coach is listening (Mastery #3) and processing in the present (Mastery #4), all of which can also help the client to expand their potential and invite possibility (Mastery #8). A coach’s job of reflecting back to the client can be as simple as asking, "Do you agree with her opinion?"

On the other hand, that very same yes/no question has the potential to function as a closed question, which can limit the client’s responses or disproportionately influence the direction of the coaching. At worst, yes/no questions can indicate and cause judgment (ineffective demonstration of Mastery #1), and/or narrow possibilities for the client (ineffective demonstration of Mastery #8), as well as negatively affect other masteries.

Asking, "Do you agree with her opinion?" could be done less as a reflection for the client and more as a way to get the client to "see" things from the coach’s point of view (ineffective demonstration of Mastery #5), with the client sensing that there is a right or wrong answer to the question. This can close down possibility (ineffective demonstration of Mastery #8), erode trust between coach and client (ineffective demonstration of Mastery #1) and mask the true intention of the client (ineffective demonstration of Mastery #7).

So, are yes/no questions a display of masterful coaching? It depends on the situation. This invites the question, how can you tell when your yes/no questions are appropriate? And, when these questions are not the best choice, what might work even better?

Members, continue reading here.

To join the IAC, click here.


Do you have a question that you’d like to ask the certifiers? Submit your questions here: http://certifiedcoachblog.typepad.com/blog/ask-the-certifiers.html.

   

 

Elizabeth Nofziger, IAC-CC, has been an IAC certifier since 2009. She helps her clients apply their strengths and interests to land (or create) great careers that they’re passionate about. Elizabeth also works as a coach trainer, and loves helping new coaches launch their coaching careers. enofziger@freshvisioncoaching.com 

   

 

Please send your questions on the IAC Coaching Masteries® and the certification process to certification@certifiedcoach.org.

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Living the Masteries – Finding the Friend Within
by Alison Davis and Louise Le Gat

You may remember from last month that Living the Masteries is a new regular column, where we invite coaches to share about living the IAC Coaching Masteries® in their everyday lives. People are realising that once they become aware of the Masteries, so much more becomes possible. The Masteries enable life, relationships and understanding to move to whole new thresholds.

Here is this month’s inspiring story from one of our coaches:

Finding the Friend Within

In search of Spring rebirth

Over the Easter period, my partner went off sailing and I was left to my own devices for a few days. All was going well until I decided that it would be great to do a bit of internal work whilst he was away. I mean it was Easter after all, probably a good time to clear out some old cobwebs and make the most of the whole "resurrection" theme.

I like to work from the "inside out"—to clear out my internal clutter so that my life and business can be in flow. As I am about to re-launch my business, I thought that I might as well check in on my ability to attract abundance and to express who I am in the world authentically. A little bit of internal "spring cleaning" wouldn’t hurt and I could then ride the renewal wave over the long week-end. So off I set.

Succumbing to the voice of doom

Things didn’t quite go according to plan, however, and instead of a springtime rebirth I ended up in a swamp of self-doubt. By the time my partner came back, I had effectively single-handedly managed to completely destroy my own sense of confidence and motivation—courtesy of my own inner dialogue.

My partner got one look at the whining shadow of the woman that I had become and kindly took me out to dinner. With concern in his eyes and having given me sushi, he empathetically listened as I explained to him that I might as well give up on my business as "nothing was worth doing" and "I was going to fail anyway."

After finishing my advocacy for my own doom, I looked up to find an amused look on his face, as he said: "Gosh I thought that you really had found a reason to be worried—who have you been listening to all weekend? You are just a little scared and that’s ok." As the clouds parted, the voice of doom receded into the background and my sanity slowly returned. I really wondered who was the coach out of the two of us. I also wondered who I had been listening to all weekend.

Supporting my own greatness

The answer came a few days later as I was looking through the lists of effective and ineffective behaviours for each one of the Coaching Masteries, and an amused realisation came over me. As I looked at the list of ineffective behaviours, I recognised the voice of doom that I had been listening to all weekend. It had basically done everything on that list!

As a coach, I know how important it is to use the Masteries skilfully in my sessions with clients. Especially when it comes to helping them remember their dreams and believe in themselves enough to take their next steps towards them. As a human being, though, I forget to apply them to myself when I'm going for my own dreams.

We all have it, that inner voice of doom, our own special "inner critic"—that old friend who means well and wants us to be safe. But in its quest, it uses judgment, makes us wrong and stops us from taking action on what is deep in our heart. Even as we progress towards our goals, it focuses on how far we still are from the end point and how little we have achieved. It beats us up for not having done enough.

It is the voice that fails to remember our own humanity and how important it is to listen and hear our deepest need. It is the voice that is oblivious to the cry for our own tender loving support. It is the voice that forgets to care.

It is the voice that mirrors the voices from our past. They also meant well. But they didn’t have the tools to communicate with us in the way that we needed. They didn’t know how to nurture and empower us, and help us grow in a gentle supportive caring manner. They didn’t know how to stretch us and challenge us in a way that was "just right" for us.

And it is because we all have that voice inside of us that we all need coaches, in whatever form they take—a partner, a mother, a colleague, a friend. Just someone who understands enough about how to listen and ask questions to get us back on track when we have forgotten who we are and what we are capable of. And over time, we can train our own inner coach—the inner voice of doom can transform into our own inner best friend.

So how would it be if you trained your own inner voice in the Masteries? How would it be if you learnt to speak to yourself in a way that was caring, deeply respectful, supportive and empowering? How would that help you to embrace the reality of your own greatness?

  

Louise Le Gat is a coach, workshop facilitator, writer and speaker who specializes in personal transformation and life transitions. She runs workshops in both the UK and Switzerland on how to generate more sustainable positive energy in life and work. For further information, please see http://www.louiselegat.com

 

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Louise’s piece beautifully illustrates two aspects. The first is how a gentle space for release and transformation can be created by the use of the Masteries in everyday conversations. Louise experienced a glimpse of what it’s like to have someone gently use some of the Masteries.

Her partner created safety for her to share with him (Mastery #1), he reassured her and let her know that it was okay, she was just a little scared (Mastery #2). This shows how important it is to create safety and what is possible when it’s present. She also saw how good it feels to be listened to and truly heard by another (Mastery #3). And thanks to his gentle challenging about who she had been listening to all weekend, she began to gain clarity about what had actually been going on (Mastery #6).

The second is how important it is to use the Masteries in our relationship with ourselves. Once we understand the Masteries, we begin to see how valuable they can be for us in our relationship with ourselves. We all need to become aware of how ineffective our inner dialogue is and how easy it is for us to get lost in the world of our inner critic—to make assumptions, get pulled into and distracted by our own internal chaos and confusion, try to "look good", make judgments about ourselves, limit ourselves, make ourselves wrong, rush to find a solution or allow our stories to limit possibility.

Once we train our inner voices in the Masteries and use these effective behaviors on ourselves, we can learn to master life feeling nurtured and supported. As we strengthen the gentleness of our internal voice, our external voice—the one we use when we’re coaching or supporting others—is more able to create the safety others need on their life journey.

This is your column, your experiences of Living the Masteries. Please tell us how the Masteries have enhanced your life. You will inspire others by your sharing.
Submit your contributions to Alison Davis via http://certifiedcoachblog.typepad.com/blog/living-the-masteries.html, so she can share them for you in the Living the Masteries column in the VOICE each month.

   

 

Alison Davis, IAC-CC, is a certifying examiner at the IAC, coach, mentor coach and founder of the IAC–licensed virtual coaching school Foundations for Living. Discover more at www.foundationsforliving.com
 

 

 

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