Welcome to the October 2012 issue of the IAC VOICE!
President's Message – Communities of Practice
Susan R. Meyer, MCC (IAC)
Susan R. Meyer had a powerful insight while attending a recent women's business
conference, and she's putting it into practice immediately to better serve IAC
members. If you've ever felt isolated as a coach, or if traditional meetings
just don't work for you, have a look at what she is offering. Scroll down or
click to read more.
Ask the Certifiers is Going Live
Inside Scoop – Natalie Tucker Miller, MCC (IAC)
Aside from Susan's new event, Lead Certifier Natalie Tucker Miller is announcing
another new opportunity to engage with IAC leaders. The first of these quarterly
events will take place on January 18, 2013, and you can read more in this month's
Inside Scoop. Click
to read more.
Difficult Client Behaviors? New Tools for Coaching Confidence and Success
Featured Member Benefit – Doris Helge, MCC (IAC), Confident Coach Connection
This month's featured member benefit is the Confident Coach Connection training
programs including IAC certification preparation classes and advanced coaching
and business-building classes. Founder Doris Helge shares insightful tips that
will help you move past frustration into confidence and coaching magic. Scroll
down to view the full article, or click to read the article online.
A Personal Manifesto, Why You Need One
This month's feature article explores the popularity of the manifesto. Marcy
Nelson-Garrison calls the manifesto "a creative and exciting way to
take a stand for your wisdom, develop a message that resonates deeply with your
ideal client and create a true north guidance system for business decisions.
What a powerful foundation for your coaching business!" Curious? Click
to read more.
The Three V’s of Listening
Tools for Coaching Mastery – Aileen Gibb
Inspired in part by her work with sound therapist Gary Diggins, Aileen Gibb
presents three aspects of listening that will help coaches deepen this skill
that is so integral to the masterful practice of coaching. Click
to read more.
to the VOICE are welcome anytime through the month. Click here to
read our submission
there are topics you would like to read about in future issues, or
if you have feedback about today's issue, please
contact me directly.
Are you on Twitter? You can follow the IAC at http://twitter.com/IACCoachMastery.
There is also a list of VOICE authors, columnists and IAC BOG members
by Susan R. Meyer,
Communities of Practice
I'm sitting in an auditorium at a large conference that purports to bring women
together to change the world. The problem for me, though, is that like at so
many conferences, there's no time for actual connection. We are hearing a lot
of speakers, but we are not building community here. And that makes me think
of how often that is true at coaching events and within coaching organizations.
A business practice that occurs spontaneously in many organizations is the
creation of communities of practice. These are naturally occurring groups that
come together to share ideas, generate solutions and support each other. It
turns out that they can't be created artificially, but that seeds can be planted,
opportunities can be created and communities of practice can be nurtured and
We call ourselves the coaching community, yet many of us work in isolation.
The IAC has face-to-face and virtual chapters that help create community. I
applaud the tremendous work our chapter leaders are doing. And yet, there are
still members who continue in isolation. We have a LinkedIn page, a Facebook
page, a Twitter account, and yet there are still members who continue in isolation.
Some people like to be alone. And that's certainly a viable option. Some people
hate social media. Some don't like structured, regularly scheduled meetings.
And some of these people are still looking for a sense of community. So we're
going to try to create another option.
Announcing new calls for IAC members
Starting In October, I am creating a series of calls for members. I'll be joined
by at least one member of the Board. There will be no agenda—there will
just be a space to touch base, chat with other coaches, raise issues, ask questions,
share a few laughs—whatever you want. In October, we are scheduling calls
on the 16th and 23rd at 7:00 p.m. Eastern. Here's the link for members to register:
In November, we'll add some morning calls as well. Drop in, drop out as you
wish! I hope to hear you on the calls.
warm wishes for your success,
Susan R. Meyer
Susan R. Meyer, MCC (IAC) is President of Susan R. Meyer, Coaching
and Consulting and of Life-Work Coach. She provides personal and executive
coaching and facilitates seminars on topics including life planning,
emotional intelligence, leadership development, communication, and
coaching skills for managers. www.susanrmeyer.com.
How many times have you complained to another coach about clients' resistance
to change or lack of follow through? Discouragement about client progress can
contribute to ineffectiveness, low self-esteem and even burnout if you don’t
understand the bigger picture. Below are some of my favorite tools for combatting
disappointment or frustration. Notice how each tip forms a foundation for the
next while you gain additional coaching confidence.
Human Mirror 101
Our clients serve as human mirrors for characteristics we are either unwilling
or unable to perceive about ourselves. If a client consistently fails to live
up to their full potential, I stay in a compassionate mode and check to see
if they are mirroring to me where I’m not being accountable to myself.
If so, once I do my best to shape up and own my personal power, the client usually
makes a positive shift. Our clients respond much more to our energy and authenticity
than to anything we say.
Sometimes I don’t perceive a mirror because the client is providing a
“benchmark mirror,” indicating a challenge I’ve overcome.
In that case, I notice their lack of progress with detached compassion, not
frustration. Since I previously faced a similar challenge, I’m intuitive
about the best way to help the client face their issue. You can easily prove
this to yourself. Notice how often most of your clients make significant strides
forward when you’re rapidly growing.
Impatience, Control and Trust Mirrors
Another enlightening experience when we work with so-called “difficult
clients” is to remember they are always gifts in disguise. Pause to ponder
if the real issue resolves within you or your client. When we’re impatient,
we’re usually trying to control the outcome. We have forgotten to trust
the inherent magic of the coaching process. Next time you’re tempted to
feel frustrated because a client seems resistant to change, consider the possibility
that this is evidence that their eventual transition is unfolding perfectly.
Instead of spending your time voicing frustration, focus on the joy of discovering
a creative new approach.
Remember Where You End and Your Client Begins
Since coaches are not deities, we cannot always perceive the bigger picture
of the roles we are playing. Clients are always in charge of their lives. If
they choose to hold onto a behavior, belief or action we don’t think is
serving them, that is their choice. We are all sometimes “stuck.”
Profound wisdom and growth are always hidden in our darkest nights, patiently
awaiting our discovery. When you are patient, many clients will eventually express
Here is a summary statement of what countless clients have told me over the
years when they commented about the merits of coaching patience with their process,
“It was the last part of emerging from my dark funnel of self-discovery
that produced the greatest Aha. If I’d embarked on a new path any sooner,
I would have cheated myself out of the last hidden nuggets of gold that I didn’t
discover until I sank to the bottom of the bottom. Once I did that, I was finally
ready to walk away from what wasn’t working . . . forever. Now I don’t
have to repeat the same negative experience again.”
Strengthen Your Sense of Self
Maintaining clear boundaries helps you easily perceive what feelings, thoughts
and expectations are yours and which belong to your client. When we’re
grounded in a strong sense of self, we accept our limits with joy and relief.
Any unrealistic (egoistic) pressure to “fix” or “save”
our clients disappears. You’ll intuitively know when to use coaching “edge”
and when to float on gentle waves of patience during a coaching session. Your
coaching confidence will soar when you observe your client’s process with
detachment and remember your life purpose.
Enjoy the Rewards of Confidence, Trust and Wonder
When clients are ready to change, they do so with enthusiasm and conviction.
Their clarity, focus and passion create confidence and success. Our job is to
hold the space for positive change by being 100 percent present and listening
to every clue and subtle nuance. Clients guide us to help them in the perfect
way at the perfect time because their inner guidance always knows what works
best for them. I’m continuously in awe about what a privilege and joy
it is to be trusted to play this role.
Helge, Ph.D., MCC, author of bestselling books, Transforming
Pain Into Power, Joy on the Job and Conquer
Your Inner Critic is an IAC Mentor Coach and founder
of the IAC-licensed training school, Confident Coach Connection. She
also created the New Coach Virtual Chapter of IAC. Discover more at
IAC Member Benefit: IAC members save 10% on all Confident Coach Connection
training programs including IAC Certification Preparation classes and Advanced
Coaching and Business-Building classes. Log
into the IAC member site to learn more.
Master Certified Coach
to Eva Luk from Hong Kong who recently earned the
Master Coach Certification, MCC (IAC) designation!
to Tatiana Abend fromWest Cornwall, CT, United States
who recently earned the IAC-Practitioner Designation!
New IAC Coaching Masteries® licensed schools
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