IAC VOICE, Volume 4, Issue 83, May 2013, Circulation 4330
May 6, 2013 May 6, 2013
From the Editor
Hello from a tired traveler. Having just returned home from São Miguel, Portugal, I am brimming with stories to tell, and couldn’t resist sharing one picture of the breathtaking scenery. From hiking the crater of a volcano to enjoying octopus salad with the locals, I am fulfilled and exhausted (in a good way!) Spending time on the island of São Miguel enlightened me to many new things and I found myself asking questions at every turn. I look forward to returning to my “real life” with the same sense of wonderment and curiosity!
As Susan and our contributors address in various ways this month, we are constantly surrounded by opportunities to learn new things. Sometimes these learning experiences are hidden in our everyday routines, and sometimes they jump out at us in vibrant, unexpected ways. However we encounter these moments, it is wonderful when we can approach them with a thirst for knowledge; a desire to grow and learn.
Along with the articles from our fantastic contributors, the IAC provides many learning opportunities. Be sure to check out information on the May teleseminar and the International Leadership and Coaching Conference below.
It is important to take a moment to acknowledge Martha Pasternack, who, as of this newsletter, is officially one of our monthly contributors. I hope you appreciate her lovely voice and look forward to her unique insight each month as much as I do. Welcome aboard, Martha!
Diana McFarlane also deserves major acknowledgment. I have begun to understand the intricacy of the IAC and how hard each and every person works, and must make it known that Diana is the one who transforms all of these words into the accessible and readable VOICE that you see before you. Thank you Diana, for your talent and time!
As always, we look forward to your comments, questions, and article contributions for the future of the VOICE. Thank you again for your support. Please contact us at email@example.com.
Best, Beth Ann
Beth Ann Miller holds a B.A. in Creative Writing and is a native New Englander. She has a professional background in editing and higher education, as well as working with youths in the arts. Her stories have appeared in small online and print journals and she is perpetually at work on new creative projects.
From the President – Susan Meyer Susan discusses the joy of learning within the coaching community, and the many opportunities (both professionally and personally) she is taking advantage of in the near future.
May is a wonderful month for growth and renewal. In this brief period between the hustle and bustle of ending my current business cycle and arranging some summer fun before moving into the next cycle, I find myself focused on learning opportunities. And there are so many available!
One focus for me will be to complete my Learning Agreement. As I continue to explore the links between the Masteries and leadership, I’m creating a series of ten articles describing how the Masteries inform management development. I’ve completed three – here’s the first one – and will have finished the series by the end of June.
It’s also conference season and I’m looking forward to three amazing opportunities to expand my thinking. By the time the VOICE comes out, I will be in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin for the seventh Conversation Among Masters event. I’ve been to all six previous events, each year learning something new. Year one, I was fortunate to be selected to join George Leonard for lunch and to hear him discuss Mastery. I’ve included a link in case you don’t know him and would like to find out more about this amazing man. I’ve heard Dan Ariely speak about predictable irrationality. I’ve learned from futurist David Zach and comic Yakof Smirnoff, who is now teaching about happiness as well as continuing to perform. This year, we will spend an entire day sharing ideas with each other in a World Café format. June will be a busy month. The IAC is delighted to be co-sponsoring ISEC’s Leadership Mantras for the Modern Age in Bangalore, India. The conference has been created by IAC Vice President Krishna Kumar. The keynote speaker is Sir John Whitmore and speakers active in the IAC include Krishna Kumar, M. Shanmugam (Shan), Teo Jin Lee, Bonnie Chan, and Nigel Cumberland.
We are also once again participating in WBECS. Natalie Tucker Miller, Aileen Gibb, Krishna and I are presenting a discussion of the IAC Masteries and Leadership. I’m looking forward to hearing Daniel Pink, John C. Maxwell and Frances Hesselbein, and to participating in a Chapter-level discussion group.
You don’t even need to leave home to find learning opportunities. My brother has been taking courses as diverse as Python (apparently a programming language) and Song Writing on Coursera. I was intrigued. It’s free and they issue certificates of completion, so now I’m working my way through an MIT course conducted by Dan Ariely.
Learning is not, of course, limited to academics. I plan to expand my musical horizons at Clearwater’s Great Hudson River Revival, with performers as diverse as Buffy St. Marie, David Amram and the Klezmatics. I may also expand my knowledge of crafts (ok – jewelry!), especially since Natalie Tucker Miller volunteers as Vendor Coordinator. I will probably expand my learning to include some interesting new food finds and take a refresher course in the wonders of Jane’s ice cream….
Everything we learn contributes to our skill as coaches. I hope that your May is full of wonderful opportunities to expand your pathway to coaching mastery.
With warm wishes for your success, Susan R. Meyer
Susan R. Meyer, MMC is President of Susan R. Meyer, Coaching and Consulting and of Life-Work Coach. She provides personal and executive coaching and facilitates seminars on topics including life planning, emotional intelligence, leadership development, communication, and coaching skills for managers. www.susanrmeyer.com.
Late Spring in the Rockies IAC Coaching Masteries Revealed by Martha Pasternack
When the time is right, the cattle are moved from winter pastures to the high country for a summer of open range grazing on fresh, green grass. The entire ranching family is involved in the cattle drive along our rural highways to higher ground.
Cowboy Grandpa and Grand Dame Grandma look like they were born in their saddles. Cowboy Junior and family are the most numerous and know the ropes after years of mentoring with Grandpa and Grandma. Even the grandkids, wearing oversized hats that make their ears stick out at 90-degree angles and riding horses much bigger than their short little legs can straddle, have their important jobs to do. I have rarely seen such focused attention in a child. These little kids have very serious looks on their faces as they bob up and down on their saddles like bouncy-balls with their legs at 45 degrees from the horse’s muscular flank. So far I have never seen one bounce off the back of their horse, which is a miracle, given the power of gravity.
These mutigenerational cowboys and cowgirls are professional and keep it all going in the desired direction with thoughts, breaths, yips, whistles and hey-yahs! that all apparently mean something to the dogs, horses and each other. I can tell by the responsiveness of all involved.
They are focused, confident and secure in their work and the value it brings to the larger community. They set their schedule based on efficiency, support, weather and intuition. They work as a team and laugh at each other’s jokes. And are they organized? You betcha!
Their horses are professional; I can tell that too by the way they move without any apparent commands. Even the dogs are professionals. They know exactly what to do as they scurry in circles, spirals and figure eights, nipping at hooves and dodging head butts from the irritated herd.
The cattle go where they are told to go but by the sound of their bellowing are none too happy about the disruption and uncertainty of the journey. I guess they must trust these guys beyond reason.
For me, and other drivers of motorized vehicles, the cattle drive is a lesson in patience as we inch our way slowly through the herd. We wait until we are waved ahead by one of the cowgirls.
When an itty-bitty calf decides to take a nap in the middle of the road her Momma will stop and stare fiercely through the windshield daring the driver to disturb her baby. Out of nowhere, a gentle cowboy will saunter over, pick up the calf, drape it over his saddle, tip his hat and move out of the way. The mother cow protectively follows her baby.
So, we wait again. We wait for them to be on the same side of the road. Heaven forbid you are in the car that separates a cow from her calf. She does not like that and may actually try to bump you AND your car out of her way. These creatures are huge and when staring through a windshield appear gigantic. They resist being rushed.
I personally love to wait because it gives me time to stare at this decades old ritual of western life in living color and soak it in. Now, you may think I am going to talk more about patience. Well, I am not. What I really want to address is professionalism.
The definition of a professional, according to my computer’s dictionary, follows (edited a lot by me).
A person, horse or dog engaged in a specified activity as one's main paid occupation rather than as a pastime: a professional rancher and team
A person, horse or dog having or showing the skill appropriate to a professional; competent or skillful: their ranching skill is both memorable and professional.
A person, horse or dog competent or skilled in a particular activity: she was a real professional cowgirl.
Here is some of what I observe as professional when I am patiently waiting during a cattle drive and how what I see relates to the IAC coaching masteries:
Whispering, Kindness, Gentleness (Mastery #1)
Establishing and maintaining a relationship of trust
Building Upon Experience (Mastery #2)
Perceiving, affirming and expanding potential
Flexibility (Mastery #3)
Focus In The Present Moment (Mastery #4)
Processing in the present
Clear Requests (Mastery #5)
Focus On The Goal (Mastery #6)
Commitment (Mastery # 7)
Set and keep clear intentions
Willingness To Circle Back Around To Try Again (Mastery #8)
Organization (Mastery # 9)
Create and use supportive systems and structures
Humor (Masteries #1-9)
I am not suggesting that coaching is akin to a cattle drive. Well, maybe I am. As professional coaches, certain things promote our expertise; things like commitment, flexibility, and focus. Refer to the above list, which is an example of how the IAC Masteries are reflected back from life all around us. (In this case, from a cattle drive in the rural Southwest.)
Take a look around your life this spring. What IAC Masteries are being reflected back to you? Please share!
Martha Pasternack MMC www.CircleofLifeCoach.com My passion for witnessing the beauty and mystery of life, healthy healing and the promotion of Peace on Earth are integral to my daily life. I have been life coaching since 2004 after working 30 years as a health care professional.
The first among the masteries is Trust. More fully, “Establishing and maintaining a relationship of trust.”1
Trust is the essential underpinning of every coaching conversation. It is a paired virtue – honesty on the left hand and competency on the right. When a surgeon recommends your appendix removed, you trust that they are honest about the necessity and not simply after the fee for a procedure. Further, once you are satisfied with their honesty, you must be certain about their competence before committing to the operation. You want to feel assured that you will still be alive afterward!
In some cultures, provided with the right conditions, people trust relatively quickly. In others, trust must be painstakingly earned. In either case, trust is a delicate and fragile matter.
The deep conversations of coaching can occur only in a high trust relationship. Trust is a complex perception involving cultural and interpersonal factors that vary from one circumstance and one individual to the next. A coachee might consider a coach’s formal education, specialized training and certification, relevant experience, age, gender, social, cultural and racial background. More personal factors will come into play, such as familiarity, proximity, even the mode of coaching. A prospective coachee might survey a coach’s online presence, references, previous clients and testimonials. Such small clues as the background of the room viewed through a webcam will contribute to the development or loss of trust.
During the coaching session, the coachee will listen to tone, pace and body language. He or she will perceive confidence and empathy. Presence and active listening during the coaching session are clues for trust, as are the coach’s ability to hear, understand, reflect and empower expression. They will be more trusting when the coach demonstrates meaningful support and resourcefulness.
After the coaching session, coachees respond to continued presence and interaction. Coaches who demonstrate presence, support and assistance between calls will be appreciated, and barriers will come down.
“There is one thing … which, if removed, will destroy the most powerful government, the most successful business, the most thriving economy, the most influential leadership, the greatest friendship, the strongest character, the deepest love … that one thing is trust.”2 Stephen M.R. Covey
The IAC Masteries Ebook contains a concise approach to establishing, maintaining and perceiving trust in a coaching conversation. Being deeply trustworthy is more than commitment to a principle of morality. It involves practicing a set of skills over an extended period. It demands study and meditation, making mistakes and trying again. It requires the forgiveness of others and the forgiveness of self, letting go of pride and embracing courage, self-love and love for others. Earning the trust of others requires that we trust them, too.
Consider the list of effective behaviors in the IAC Masteries Ebook for establishing and maintaining trust: engaging active listening, acknowledging our own humanity and limitations, (i.e. humility and vulnerability), being alert to fear and doubt, giving assurance, uncovering dreams, asking probing questions and showing integrity in words and actions. And do it all in 30 minutes! That takes practiced skill.
Finally, allow me a closing word about practicing trust in both private and professional life. The foundational IAC principle of ‘living the masteries’ obligates us to infuse not only our coaching sessions, but all of our conversations, indeed our whole lives, with the principles and behaviors of trust. Trust is the acknowledgement of integrity in intention, word and action. Trust makes the whole become real, outcomes more certain and relationships genuine.
2. Covey, S.M.R. 2006. The speed of trust: The one thing that changes everything. Free Press a Division of Simon & Schuster, New York, NY.
Ed Britton coaches expats and their families who live and work internationally as they adjust to unique and sometimes challenging cultural settings. He lives in Xiamen, Fujian province of China, just west of Taiwan, with his wife and two teen-aged sons. They are originally from Vancouver Island, Canada.
As a professional coach, I often view coaching as a fairly formal activity— I set time aside in my calendar to have coaching sessions, to have buddy coaching practice, and to navigate and research coaching-related information. However, one day when my 18-year-old daughter asked me a question, I discovered that I’d been missing the coaching opportunities presented to me in everyday life.
My daughter was struggling with a difficult decision: after a rigorous interview process, she was offered an impressive opportunity, but was anxious about whether or not she should take it. She wasn’t sure if it would ultimately benefit her future career. Distracted by a project, my answer to her was, “Follow your interest and passion,” then I returned to my work. My daughter fell into a deep thought and looked even more lost. I was suddenly aware that I hadn’t helped her at all.
“What is a mother?” I asked myself. As a professional coach, why did I miss that this situation could benefit from coaching insight? Within our daily conversations, my daughter and I discuss everything from academics to personal interests. By taking advantage of the interactions I have with my two young adults at home, I can make coaching part of my everyday routine. Most importantly, I can improve the quality of my interactions and strengthen our relationships.
I put off all my work immediately, quieting the thoughts in my head and turning away from the notebook, and gave my full attention to my daughter. My girl needed guidance and support not just from her mother, but from an attentive coach. After giving her my undivided respect, conscientiousness, and interest, she was able to clear out her puzzles and move forward.
In this incident, I figured out how to shift my everyday interactions into coaching moments. Not necessary all interactions are coaching opportunities, but many of them can extend beyond our routine and enhance our lives in many ways. Be sure to look for these opportunities everywhere: in careers, academics, or even within relationships with family and friends.
Leanne Chan, ACC (ICF) is President of IAC HK Chapter, career & campus coach serving both on college campus and in corporations campus leveraging her years’ of corporate HR and talent management experience plus her interest in young people’s aspirations. Recent years developing her career, performance and leadership coaching skills with a view to helping young adults, mid-career and expatriates professionals to unleash their potentials and achieving greater performance through understand self, situations and systems and leveraging on new insights and knowledge to enhance personal, inter-personal and organizations effectiveness.
Have You Completed Your Learning Agreement? by Natalie Tucker Miller, MMC
One hallmark of our profession is the necessity to stay, as Thomas Leonard advised, a few steps ahead of our clients. How is this meant in a coaching sense? Certainly we’re not expected to study the very things our clients are studying and stay ahead of them on content. That, in fact, could limit our ability to grow with them, if all we’re focused on is the knowledge and data of their interests or professions.
It’s the commitment to one’s personal growth that opens possibilities for clients. And it’s the client’s growth through coaching that encourages the coach to discover more about themselves, which in turn inspires and benefits their clients. The broader your perspective, the more you can help your clients broaden theirs, while leveraging the opportunities that are most appropriate for them.
This is such a powerful concept to consider when designing your IAC Learning Agreements. Too often, coaches are approaching these as tasks to be checked off a list and filed away. Philosophically, this could not be further from the IAC’s intent of continued development as a coach. This is exactly one of the ways to stay a few steps ahead of your clients: by using the brilliance of the Masteries to elicit the meaning and purpose of the circumstances, relationships, and events in which you engage on a regular basis.
Your coaching sessions will only be as effective as the time you are willing to put into your own growth. However you choose to accomplish that, you’ve got this great support system called the IAC Learning Agreement.
Natalie Tucker Miller, MMC, is the Lead Certifier and a certifying examiner at the IAC, as well as Past-President. Natalie is founder of Ageless-Sages.com Publishing (www.ageless-sages.com), and creator of the literary genre, Picture Books for Elders™.
Powerful Mantras Defining Tomorrow’s Leaders ICES’s International Leadership and Coaching Conference
The IAC is pleased to be supporting ICES's International Leadership and Coaching Conference. Leadership in a globalized economy involves transcending traditional business models. To succeed in turbulent times, future leaders will spend considerable time developing their inner strength.
Traditional business models utilize substantial leadership mindshare on developing processes. Improving efficiencies and building markets that directly translate to growing shareholder value, the 'Power of Mind' is thus harnessed exclusively towards business outcomes. In the future, enlightened leaders will use new Mantras that maximize this Power to go beyond business and build shared value for their communities.
The Mantras draw upon powerful leadership and coaching concepts to generate deep self awareness, identify and draw upon inner resources, support leaders in taking responsibility for meeting their goals, and help them attain their maximum potential.
If enlightened leadership is the direction for the new economy, then coaching binds together powerful Mantras that help achieve just that!
Sir John Whitmore, globally rated as the Number One Business coach, will lead a team of international Master Coaches who will explore multiple dimensions of Leadership for the Modern Age at The International Leadership and Coaching Conference at the Taj Vivanta in Bangalore, India on June 6 & 7, 2013.
Learn How to Overcome the Top 5 Challenges that Coaches Experience Teleseminar with Kim Ades and Kristi Arndt
Coaches are faced with many questions such as: where do I get clients? How do I keep them? How do I generate referrals? How much should I be charging? Address these questions, along with others, in a teleseminar with Kristi Arndt and Kim Ades.
The IAC is happy to provide opportunities to assist you in overcoming challenges such as generating leads, pricing effectively, and delivering deep coaching experiences that will change your clients’ lives. Join the teleseminar to have your toughest coaching questions answered!
Tuesday, May 28th at Noon EST, join us as Kim Ades, President and Founder of Frame of Mind Coaching and JournalEngine Software helps us to understand and address these very real challenges in a very creative yet easy-to-follow manner.
Kim Ades, MBA is president and founder of Frame of Mind Coaching and JournalEngineTM Software. Author, speaker, entrepreneur, coach, and mother of 5, Kim is one of North America's foremost experts on performance through thought management. By using her unique process of coaching through journaling, she works with high profile clients to unveil and switch their thought patterns to ignite significant organizational change and personal transformation. For an inside look at the journaling process she uses to coach her clients, go to www.journalengine.com and check it out!
A committed leader and coaching mentor, Dr. Kristi Arndt is serving the International Association of Coaching as a Board Member and Professional Development Chair. An innovator at heart, Kristi integrates extensive knowledge of the Human Design System into her personal coaching services to guide her clients according to life strategies that are correct for them. She earned her PhD, EdM, and DVM degrees from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. To enhance client experiences, Kristi further distinguished herself as a Master Masteries Coach (IAC) and Board Certified Coach (CCE). For additional information, contact her at 630.935.9211 or firstname.lastname@example.org.
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