IAC VOICE, Volume 4, Issue 88, October 2013, Circulation 4,471

From the
Editor

October Editor pictureAutumn
in New England is here! I spent an afternoon in York, Maine recently
and was able to truly appreciate the stillness that follows summer.
The leaves are turning; pumpkin-flavored pastries and coffees are
out; the days are warm and the nights are cold. I’ve always
enjoyed this season, this gentle ease in to the upcoming winter months.

This month our talented contributors explore the Masteries, address your questions
about authenticity in coaching, celebrate talented coaches in the community,
and announce upcoming volunteer opportunities. I hope you enjoy these diverse
articles and resources.

How have you enjoyed the VOICE these past few months? Is there something you’d
like to see more or less of? Please feel free to contact us at voice@certifiedcoach.org
with comments, questions, event notices, or article contributions. We love hearing
from you!

Best,
Beth Ann

 

Beth Ann Miller 

Beth
Ann Miller holds a B.A. in Creative Writing and is a native New Englander.
She has a professional background in editing and higher education,
as well as working with youths in the arts. Her stories have appeared
in small online and print journals and she is perpetually at work
on new creative projects.

 

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Contents

From
the President
– Susan Meyer

Join Susan in celebrating a few of the many valued coaches in the
community!


Detach From Outcome and Become “The
Results Coach”
– Doris Helge

Boost your coaching confidence and gain freedom from your inner critic
by using IAC Masteries 8 and 9 more effectively. Manage your inner
critic so you can coach with greater confidence, promote your practice
and enjoy new ways of coaching clients with inner critic issues.

El
Derecho: Mastery #5, Expressing
– Martha Pasternack

Sometimes coaching is like a violent wind storm – how can you
navigate this successfully and masterfully?


Best Practices Established in the Delivery
of Coaching Services Online
– DeeAnna Nagel & Kate Anthony

DeeAnna and Kate discuss the ups and downs of coaching online. Referencing
Mastery #1, they illustrate positive, effective methods for overcoming
the challenges of online coaching.


Ask the Certifiers: Maintaining Authenticity
– Natalie Tucker Miller

How can you find and maintain your authenticity as a coach using the
Masteries?


Volunteer Opportunities
Interested in sharing some of your time or expertise for a short-term
project? Hoping to make a bigger impact by joining the Board of Governors?
Check out the IAC’s latest volunteer opportunities!

Member
Chat Calls

Dates and links to the October Member Chats, hosted by Kristi Arndt.

IAC
Certified Coaches


From
the President

by Susan R. Meyer,
MMC

president@certifiedcoach.org

We’re in the final months of our tenth anniversary and there’s
still some celebrating left to do. We’ve created new awards to recognize
significant achievements in the field of coaching and in service to the IAC.
Two of these awards were given out earlier this year during the conference in
India, hosted by Vice President Krishna Kumar. Sir John Whitmore, who was the
keynote speaker at the event, was presented with an IAC Lifetime Achievement
Award, acknowledging his many contributions to coaching. A President’s
Award was presented to Bonnie Chan, who has done so much to represent the IAC
in China.

I am delighted to announce that two additional awards were presented in September.
Shirley Anderson was presented with an IAC Lifetime Achievement Award and Natalie
Tucker Miller was presented with a President’s Award. You can find interviews
with Natalie and Bonnie on our website and I will be interviewing Shirley within
the next few weeks.

The IAC has represented the best in coaching over the past decade and this
month, I’m devoting this space to telling you a bit more about our honorees,
three of whom are long-time IAC members and IAC Master Mastery Coaches.

Sir John Whitmore

This first award was the only one presented to a coach who is not a member
of the IAC. Sir John Whitmore is Chairman of Performance Consultants International.
Whitmore, who was deeply influenced by The Inner Game of Tennis, has
written five books on leadership, coaching and sports. Coaching for Performance
is the best known, having sold 500,000 copies in 17 languages.

Whitmore
was a motor racing champion in his 20’s before retiring to run a large agribusiness,
a product design company and a Ford Main Dealership. In 1968 he gave up business
to study psychology in the USA, before returning to England to set up a tennis
school and a ski school in the Alps licensed by Timothy Gallwey of the Inner
Game. The GROW (Goal, Reality, Options/Opportunity, Will/What Next) model of
coaching has been developed and popularized by Whitmore.

Shirley Anderson

Shirley Anderson was active on the Board in the earliest days of IAC. Anyone
who has ever heard her present or has been on a Coach Salon call will appreciate
this self-description from Shirley’s website:

“My colleagues have dubbed me “Coach Yoda.”
This makes me laugh. I trust it describes my relating and mentoring skills,
rather than how I look. I’m known as the truth teller and someone who brings
intelligence, compassion, education, and maturity to my work with clients.”

The article below from the IAC VOICE, Vol 1, Num 4, May 27, 2004,
announces Shirley’s appointment as the first Chair of the Certification
Committee and the Board of Governors:

Shirley Anderson, IAC’s newly elected Chair of the Board of Governors
(BOG), has been coaching since 1989. She has worked with more than 1,000 clients,
helping them to achieve their goals and leverage their skills. She works with
executives, authors and other professionals.

Shirley holds a bachelor’s degree in English and a master’s degree in criminal
justice. Her coaching certifications include Certified Masteries Coach, Master
Certified Coach (MCC), and IAC Certified Coach (IAC CC). As a member of the
IAC Certifier/Examiner Committee, she was one of the three original coaches
to earn IAC’s Certified Coach designation. Shirley has been active in IAC since
it was founded, originally focusing on Advanced Coaching Models and Systems.
In addition to her role on the BOG, Shirley serves as Chair of the Certifier/Examiner
Committee and is working with the certifying team to bring Step Two of the IAC
Certified Coach exam to the full membership.

Looking back to the inception of coaching, Shirley recalls that “twenty
years ago coaching was an executive perk, available only to corporate executives
and leaders.” As a pioneer in the field, she says coaching emerged as
a discipline with distinct models, principles, concepts and techniques “thanks
to the brilliance and leadership of the late Thomas Leonard.” She believes
that the “diverse business and professional backgrounds of new coaches
enriches the profession and makes coaching available to the ordinary person.”
She views coaching research as the most exciting current industry activity and
says it “is helping to distinguish the work we do as a true profession.”

Bonnie Chan

Bonnie Chan has been a member of the Board of Governors and is currently a
Certifier. She has worked tirelessly on behalf of the IAC throughout Asia and
is currently working closely with Natalie Tucker Miller towards completing certifications
in Chinese.

After Bonnie graduated from the Keio University of Japan with a major in Human
Science in 1985, she worked in Hong Kong, Japan, Canada and China.

Bonnie is the first IAC Master Masteries Coach from Hong Kong. She is the founding
member of the Hong Kong International Coaching Community (HKICC) and was elected
President in 2005/6. She is actively involved as the Honorary Advisor to the
community. She is currently a part-time lecturer in the HKU Space teaching Corporate
Coaching. Bonnie has lived and worked in Hong Kong, Japan, Canada and China
and speaks English, Putonghua, Cantonese, Mandarin and Japanese.

Natalie Tucker Miller

Natalie Tucker Miller is an internationally recognized speaker, certified coach,
instructor and coach certifier. She was one of a handful of members to invest
in a lifetime membership in the IAC and has been active on the Board of Governors.
As a Certifier, she was part of the two-year process to create the IAC Masteries.
From 2006-2008 she served as president for the IAC. She currently serves as
Lead Certifier for the IAC and was instrumental in the development of the Learning
Agreement process.

Natalie works with leaders in the elder care industry and provides training
and coaching for executives and staff. She is the founder of Ageless-Sages.com,
a publishing company specializing in illustrated picture books for elders, as
well as producing books on historic events of interest to elders and personal
development.

These are four amazing coaches, and we can all be proud that three of them
are among our membership. There are many other incredible, distinguished coaches
in our midst, and I am grateful every day to have been granted the privilege
of being in such distinguished company.

Oh
– A little something extra – Choice magazine subscribers
can read “Building on a Solid Foundation” in the September
issue. Natalie Tucker Miller and I wrote this for Choice’s Tenth
Anniversary issue. You can also read
it here
(the IAC article starts on the second page). Don’t
miss a feature article by our own Kim Ades as well.

Warmly,
Susan


Dr. Susan R. Meyer, MMC is President of Susan R. Meyer, Coaching and
Consulting. As a Life Architect, she helps wise and wild women construct
a joyful life, provides executive coaching and instills a coaching
approach to leadership for organizational success. www.susanrmeyer.com.

 

 


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Detach From Outcome and Become “The Results Coach”
by
Doris Helge

Why Masterful Coaches Detach

We coach because we care. What could be wrong with that? Sometimes it’s
difficult to detach from our expectations and desires.

  • Example
    #1

    Sometimes a client isn’t ready
    to follow through or change a behavior, even though they know their current
    actions aren’t producing the results they want. Because it would be
    easy to judge this client, it’s helpful to think outside of the box. The
    person who won’t yet leave behind a dysfunctional pattern isn’t necessarily
    a dysfunctional person
    . Usually, this client hasn’t fully gained
    all the wisdom available from a painful pattern of repeating the same mistake
    over and over. When you’re supportive without being judgmental or intrusive,
    you may notice the perfection of their internal guidance and their life path.
    I say this because many clients devour every last drop of learning available
    to them while they simultaneously grow tired of creating negative results.
    During a precise, internally guided, pivotal moment, they replace their self-imposed,
    restrictive rulebook. They create a bold, new life manual in each moment as
    they joyfully fly forward on their path to freedom. We couldn’t have
    created this manual for them. In fact, if our encouragement had involved pushing
    or advice, we would have delayed their progress.
  • Example
    #2

    Sometimes it’s so clear
    to us that a client could be moving three steps ahead but they’re content
    to take a tiny baby step. They’re thrilled but we lament, “I just
    know they could be happier if they’d take a giant leap.”
    What’s
    the truth? As you know, when other people have a predetermined path they want
    us to take, a path that isn’t our idea, most of us want to race the other
    way, even when we know the other person is right. In coaching, there’s a bigger
    issue. Our desire for a client to be in a place other than where they are
    sends a very unhelpful energetic signal: the client reads our message, consciously
    or unconsciously, thinking, “my coach is judging me as off-track. I’m
    not good enough just as I am right now.”

The Outcome Attachment Dance
Our judgments, assumptions, and expectations are colored by our own life experiences.
We all perceive the world with filtered lenses. That’s simply how our brains
work. It’s a very efficient system. It saves time and energy, but it also causes
problems. Because our expectations about life, ourselves, and other people often
pave the road to pain, we need to use awareness and our personal power to avoid
struggle.
Performance anxiety creeps in when we unconsciously think a coaching session
is about us, about what we know and how much we can offer. It isn’t,
but negative self-talk and self-criticism distort reality.

The Bigger Picture
Our clients serve as human mirrors so we can perceive our own stuck spots, while
we notice benchmarks and areas of progress. If I judge my clients for not moving
faster through their growth challenges, it’s a sign. It’s time for
me to look in the mirror so I can perceive the areas where I’m not progressing
as quickly as I could. I’m unaware of those areas or I’d probably make a conscious
decision to live in a different way.

Notice the difference between judging my clients as off-track, as opposed to
simply observing their stuck spots with compassion. Empathy is clean, but a
negative judgment is a self-inflicted trap that hurts everyone concerned.

When I’m compassionate, I’ve acknowledged that the client is “another
part of me” because we are all one. All of us are participating in the
great game called “life.” We play whatever roles are required to
help each other learn and grow.

Your Detachment Toolkit

Blending IAC Mastery #8, “Inviting possibility” with IAC Mastery
#9, “Helping the client create and use support systems and structures,”
helps us let go of our expectations. The dance of detachment is choreographed
by light, curious questions like, “I wonder where this session will go
next?” and “I wonder my client needs right now?”

Another truly helpful tool is to recognize when your inner critic enters the
coaching scenario. This negative inner voice will deflate your coaching confidence
and squelch your ability to be in the moment with your client. When we’re
unconscious of what triggers our inner critic, this perfectionistic, demanding
force rules with an iron fist. When we discover how to effectively use the gremlin
as a personal and professional growth tool, we stop struggling to achieve any
certain outcome during a coaching session.

Voila! Self-sabotage slithers out of sight as the magic of coaching emerges.
You trust the perfection of each co-created moment with your client. We gain
so much joy and we deliver profound value when we haven’t a clue where a coaching
session will begin or end. Learn simple tools for managing your inner critic
so you can let go of unnecessary coaching stress and self-judgment.

Doris Helge

Doris
Helge, Ph.D., MMC is founder of the IAC-licensed training school, Confident
Coach Connection. She created the New Coach Virtual Chapter of IAC. Download
a free video and chapter from Dr. Doris’ Amazon.com #1 Bestselling book, “Conquer
Your Inner Critic” at http://ConquerYourInnerCritic.com

 

 


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El Derecho
IAC Mastery #5
Expressing
by
Martha Pasternack

El derecho is a fierce and violent wind event. It is sudden, unexpected and
appears out of nowhere.

When el derecho happens it is frightening because it is powerful enough to
snap a 100-foot tall Ponderosa Pine in half, splintering the tree and sending
it crashing to the ground. I have heard this happen. It is deafening. It is
terrifying.

El derecho is gone as suddenly as it appears, leaving utter perplexity in its
wake. Afterwards, the day becomes peaceful again even as the unabashed destruction
remains.

El derecho.

Our clients experience emotional el derecho events. All may seem to be in order.
Life is peaceful and serene. Then BAM! A force of nature blows through and life
turns to chaos.

El derecho.

Case study: I have been coaching with a client for several months. She was
always present on our calls and practiced the exercises we discussed in between
sessions like an “A” student of personal growth. She was nearing
the point where we were talking about meeting bimonthly because she felt empowered
and skilled enough to live life on her own terms, centered in her intentions
and able to find her footing when she needed to.

On our scheduled call one day she said she had been feeling so great that she
considered asking to reschedule that day’s call. The day before, she realized
she had nothing pressing and was wondering what we would talk about.

But that morning “out of nowhere” she experienced a devastating
betrayal that shattered her sense of stability and sent her into a spiral of
discontent. She told me she was angry, frustrated, crying uncontrollably, confused
and ready to give up any belief that her life could ever be different. Her personal
growth skills had failed her.

She came on the call in that splintered state of hopelessness, self-doubt and
fear.

El derecho.

First things first. I encouraged her to feel her pain and express her frustration
until she felt complete. Yes, I admit, I encouraged her to tell the story of
what happened because I believe that within that story was the pathway back
to her center. Boy, was she mad.

Once she cleared her pain and could make sense of what had happened I asked
her what she was committed to and off we went. This simple act of my listening
deeply and her feeling heard returned her to her stability and her truth. Her
voice became clear, strong and calm and she could think clearly again.

The world as she knew it had changed in an instant. Her desire to center in
trust, truth and love had not. She was able to get clear so she could move forward
using her well-grounded personal power skills in a way she valued. She emerged
from this storm empowered and proactive and committed to her values and the
goodness of life.

After allowing herself to feel what she felt and think what she thought, she
was prepared to respond to the situation rather than react from a place of fear.
She easily moved forward from her gentleness and wisdom. She even was able to
laugh at the absurdity of the situation that confronted her.

El derecho happens to all of us. Finding the courage to stand up after we get
blown over, splintered and even shattered is a gift coaching can bring to our
clients.

Our session concluded with a simple strategy to proceed, and in fact, my client
felt confident enough in her coaching tools and skills to schedule her next
coaching session two months hence.

El derecho. Some days are like that.

Martha Pasternack
Martha Pasternack, MMC www.CircleofLifeCoach.com

My passion for witnessing the beauty and mystery of life, healthy
healing and the promotion of Peace on Earth are integral to my daily
life. I have been life coaching since 2004 as a Fearless Living Coach
after working 30 years as a health care professional.

 


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Adapting the Masteries to Best Practices Established in the Delivery
of Coaching Services Online: Mastery 1
by
DeeAnna Nagel & Kate Anthony

#1. Establishing and maintaining a relationship of trust

Definition:

Ensure a safe space and supportive relationship for personal growth, discovery
and transformation.

Ensuring a space and a supportive relationship for personal growth, discovery
and transformation online must include the technology and method of delivery.

Establishing and maintaining a relationship of trust often begins with the
coach’s website or directory listing. The coach’s ability to describe
his or her approach is essential, as well as a biography and background information
that is professional but easy to understand. This helps establish trust and
builds the potential client’s confidence in the coach.

For instance, how will the potential client first contact the coach? If the
coach instructs the potential client to email the coach, the email process should
be one that is secure and encrypted.

In addition to the initial steps for contact, it is important to explain the
process of online coaching and how the coaching will be delivered.

Once the coaching relationship is contracted, the coach can offer guidelines
for issues related to possible technological breakdown and for how to re-establish
contact should a breakdown occur. For instance, a video session may suddenly
end and unless the coach has explained the guidelines to the client, the client
may not know the end of the session was not intentional. Likewise, telling the
client similar guidelines about the use of email or journal entries is important
as well. See the following statements as examples,

Please know that I will never disconnect during a session with you on purpose.
Should we become disconnected during a chat or video session online, try to
re-establish a connection. If that is not possible, email, text or phone me
to reschedule.

Another key element in establishing a safe environment when working online
is to discuss the Online Disinhibition Effect. This can be accomplished
very simply by explaining to a new client that working online often has positive
rewards because we tend to be able to open up easily. Encourage the client to
become aware of his or her comfort level as they disclose information. For instance,

You may find that working online works for you because some people find
it is easier to be open and honest about the coaching process- how you are progressing
on your goals or what seems to be difficult. We have time, so be sure to check
in with yourself about how much you are disclosing. It is easier to open up
but sometimes when we share too much too quickly, we might feel a bit vulnerable
afterward. If this happens, feel free to talk to me about it.

Because of disinhibition, establishing “between session strategies”
is important. One example that we have already referred to is journal writing.
Keeping the client engaged between sessions can aid in the client feeling safe,
resulting in the likelihood that the client will take more risks in the coaching
relationship. Other examples of “between session strategies” might
include sending a positive affirmation text or emailing an article of interest
to the client.

With regard to online communication, pacing and cues are different. Educating
the client about the nuances of online conversation may be necessary but can
also give the client a feeling of security knowing that the coach is willing
to teach him or her about the unique aspects of the communication. For instance,
during a chat session, the coach might write,

When you are typing out your thoughts, take your time. You can send me
bits of information at a time by simply entering after you have typed a sentence
or two. Likewise, I will do the same. If you ask me a question and I am pausing
to think, I will type [pausing] to let you know I am with you but I am contemplating
your question.

This article, excerpted from Online Coach Institute’s Specialist
Certificate in Online Coaching
curriculum offers a brief overview of a
few of the technological nuances that may influence the establishment and maintenance
of trust in the online coaching relationship.

DeeAnna Nagel 

DeeAnna
Nagel is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Board Certified Coach
in New Jersey.

  

Kate
Anthony is a psychotherapist and Certified Professional Coach in Scotland.
They co-founded the Online Therapy Institute/Online Coach Institute.,
and teach coaches and therapists how to deliver ethical and confidential
services online. They can be reached at info@onlinetherapyinstitute.com.

 

 


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Ask the Certifiers: Maintaining Authenticity
by
Natalie Tucker Miller, MMC

Q: Can you find and maintain your authenticity as a coach using the Masteries?

A: For me, the Masteries have become my self-awareness touchstone. Over the
years I have found that any learning, understanding or studying I’ve done
on my personal journey embodies the qualities I most revere within the Masteries.
It’s that simple. And it’s that deep.

This personal journey is where I find the strength of my truest self as a coach.

In coaching conversations, often a client’s desire to be authentic emerges.
This is a powerful and yet often elusive concept. What does it mean to be authentic?
This word keeps popping up in business, personal development, pop culture and
so on.

For me, it comes down to the distinction of “be” authentic vs.
“be authentic.”

Take a moment to contemplate that distinction.

We can all appreciate how to “be authentic.” We can use facts and
figures and values and speak from our integrity. As coaches we follow a certain
code of ethics and coaching standards. We are authentic in our desire to help
our clients maximize their potential, clarify their important goals and create
the environments that are most meaningful for them.

But masterful coaching requires more than this. It invites us to model authenticity
for our clients in a way that is profoundly deeper than the surface of doing
authenticity.

I’ll demonstrate using a couple of the Masteries.

In Mastery #3, the coach must be alert to the discrepancies in the client’s
communication. Does the timbre and tone of his/her voice match the words being
used or the emotion being expressed? How often do you find yourself in a situation
where you hold back your expressions, or judge the way you are feeling about
something? We all do to one extent or another, for a variety of reasons. It
isn’t good or bad, or right or wrong, but it is valuable information into
the authenticity of one’s self expression. Tuning in to your own way of
expressing creates an awareness that will allow you to see where you may be
having trouble with genuine expression. It doesn’t mean to blurt everything
you have to say? All out at once, it is simply a way to notice, reflect, then
decide what you’d like to do with the information you’re holding
back?

Mastery #6 points to the distinction of Source vs. Symptom. When we don’t
go beyond what the client sees as an issue, or a block or a challenge, and venture
into the reasons hiding behind the challenge, we are more apt to coach about
a situation rather than the “who” of the client. Are there times
you avoid looking past the symptom in your life? Do you notice the same unwanted
things showing up time and again? This can often turn to blame, or looking outside
yourself for a cause, which can cast a shadow on your authentic self. Being
responsible for the events in your life is another way you can shine a light
on the true, wonderful you and get to your source.

The Masteries can provide the roadmap for growth for our clients, and when
we are dedicated to our own authenticity, they are our roadmap as well.

Please share your thoughts on this important topic!



Do you have a question that you’d like to ask the certifiers?
Submit your questions here: http://certifiedcoachblog.typepad.com/blog/ask-the-certifiers.html.




Natalie Tucker Miller, MMC, is the Lead Certifier and a certifying
examiner at the IAC, as well as Past-President. Natalie is founder
of Ageless-Sages.com Publishing (www.ageless-sages.com),
and creator of the literary genre, Picture Books for Elders™.

 


Please send your questions on the IAC Coaching Masteries®
and the certification process to certification@certifiedcoach.org.


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Volunteer Opportunities

The IAC often has volunteer opportunities for one-time projects. If you’ve
been reluctant to volunteer for concern of over-committing, consider some of
these shorter term projects.

We are currently seeking someone with an interest and eye for graphic design
for a remodeling project for member and certified coach certificates. If you’d
like to work with an existing team for a short period of time, this would be
nice way to “dip your toe in” the volunteer pool, get to work with
some wonderfully creative people and put your creative stamp on a project! There
are also more ongoing opportunities available for savvy social media partners.

Contact ExecutiveDirector@certifiedcoach.org
to express your interest.

If you’re ready to take a bigger plunge, IAC board positions are available
for the coming year. This can be extremely rewarding if you approach it like
your IAC learning agreement: how can I use my influence to enhance the IAC while
enriching important aspects of my life?

Great opportunities await, especially if you have interest in online marketing,
or serving members through benefit partners, or number crunching and more. Write
to president@certifiedcoach.org
to ask questions, or to request a Board of Governors application.


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Member
Chat Calls

Date: October 24th, 2013
Time: 10:00 am Eastern Time
Hosted by: Kristi Arndt
Register: here

Date: October 24th, 2013
Time: 10:00 pm Eastern Time
Hosted by: Kristi Arndt
Register: here


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IAC
Certified Coaches

Congratutlations
to Ellen Boyd from Clearbrook, MN, United States
who recently earned the Certified Masteries Coach designation!

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Now


Your Feedback


We’d love to get your feedback on any issue related to the IAC. Do
you have any questions, concerns, encouragement or ideas for improvement
regarding membership benefits, certification, the VOICE, the direction
of the organization or anything else at all? Please send an email
to voice@certifiedcoach.org.
Please help us improve.


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