by Natalie Tucker Miller, IAC-CC
Q:
My mentor coach tells me I am too opinionated when coaching. She tells me to be more neutral, and that I can’t build trust if I’m so opinionated. But when I focus on being neutral or less opinionated, I find I lose track of the session or can’t even really hear what the client is saying. What am I missing?
A:
You’ve provided some great clues for answers within your question. (Don’t you love when that happens?) The tendency that many people have is to look into what they don’t do well and focus their energy in that direction. In the days of the 15 Coaching Proficiencies, I recall that "Engages in Provocative Conversations" was a stickler for me. "You’re too nice," my mentor coach would say, "You need to be edgier." Those of you who know me, know that “edgy” is not my shtick. And the more I tried to be edgy, the more awkward my coaching relationships became.
When you focus on what you’re hoping to eliminate, it’s understandable that you lose track of the session and tune out the client. It’s difficult to be fully present with the client when you’re concentrating on what not to do.
So what’s an opinionated coach to do? (Members, continue reading)
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Natalie Tucker Miller, IAC-CC, is the Lead Certifier and a certifying examiner at the IAC, as well as Past-President. Natalie is founder of Ageless-Sages.com Publishing (www.ageless-sages.com), and creator of the literary genre, Picture Books for Elders™.
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