by Alison Davis, IAC-CC
Living the Masteries is a regular column where we invite coaches to share their experiences of Living the Masteries in their everyday lives. As we become aware of the Masteries and really understand and use them, we realise just how powerful they are and how, used effectively, they can truly make a lasting difference to the world.
This month coach Alberto J. Calderon shares some of his insights into Mastery One.
Mastery #1: Establishing and maintaining a relationship of trust
by Alberto J. Calderon
Living the IAC Masteries® has been an extraordinary experience that has brought richness to many aspects of my life. This is especially important to me because by applying the Masteries, I realize I am able to work towards the creation of a better world.
Recently, I read the VOICE article published by Alison Davis, where she recommends using the question “How could your life be different if…?” for each one of the Masteries. When I did this myself, I found there was a lot of room for both individual and social improvement.
With Alison’s exercise as a starting point, I want to share some of my reflections and the results I have obtained in my life by applying each one of the IAC Masteries, starting in this article with the first one: “Establishing and maintaining a relationship of trust.”
Some years ago, I read a study carried out by the Deming Centre which showed that almost 50% of organisations’ resources were taken up by things relating to mistrust and insecurity. That idea confirmed a lot of what I was living, observing and feeling back then: checks and controls, supervision, different types of insurance, computer anti-virus software, house locks, supervision cameras, police, customs, drug addicts, robbery, etc. And the list grew day by day.
How can we live in a world like this? How can we relate to people who generate mistrust? How much of our time, money, knowledge and effort should we assign to protect our lives, assets and the people we love? What should we do to create a balanced life in a world which is out of balance in terms of safety and trust? These and other questions emerged in my mind daily.
Mastery #1 made me look at the people, activities, places and experiences that produced mistrust in me and those that did not.
When I started to study, to understand and to experiment in my life, I discovered a trusting and safe source, which is nature, or life itself. My life is part of nature. I found that I can turn to myself in any moment to find the answers, the resources and the talents I need to carry out my activities with certainty, confidence and quality.
I did not need to deny the external reality; I could accept things the way they are. From a mistrust of the outer, I moved to confidence based in my inner being. The security that exists inside me enables me to sustain, increase and improve relations with people not just inside my professional network and close community, but also in my internationally-based social, educational, professional and cultural networks.
My own inner well-being allows me to identify risky situations and problems, and to take necessary safety precautions. I adopt the best solutions for each situation and collaborate actively in different global organizations. I identify the right people and receive and offer support. In this way, I am able to create happy and confident collaborations of mutual, individual and professional benefit.
I know we are all different and that every one of us has a different opinion about other people and experiences. Nobody is right and no one holds the absolute truth; there are just different observations, interpretations and actions. Each human being relates to others from his/her own cultural reference frame and from there, makes his/her own judgments.
My “inner lawyer” has always been with me helping me to observe, to reason, to think and to understand the life I have, telling me what to do and what not to do. I am in a process of learning, transformation and evolution that is tied to life itself. Everything is possible with the resources that exist inside me. My job now is focused on learning to use my own talents correctly to lead the life I want and to help my fellow men to obtain the levels of trust they need to discover, design and achieve the life they want.
I invite you to think about your own trust and security sources. Are they internal or external? Which are your very best qualities and talents that no one can take away from you? Can you begin to create a clear personal vision of what could be possible as you begin to truly trust, value and rely on these in your life?
Alberto J. Calderón, MCS, PCC, OC, MBA, doctorate (Social Anthropology). President of MORE Global and CCS-Comunidad de Coaching Sistémico, he is a coach, consultant, teacher, trainer, researcher and life learner. He seeks to improve personal evolution, the productivity of organizations and the life quality of society. www.morecoach.com
This is your column, it can only continue if you share your experiences of Living the Masteries. Please send us your stories—you will inspire others by your sharing, and by talking about the Masteries, we create an echo chamber where their power takes on new meaning in the world.
Send your contributions to Alison Davis at Alison@foundationsforliving.com, so she can share them for you in the Living the Masteries column in the VOICE each month.
Alison Davis, IAC-CC, is a certifying examiner at the IAC, coach, mentor coach and founder of the IAC–licensed virtual coaching school Foundations for Living. Discover more at www.foundationsforliving.com.