Editor's Note: This piece originally appeared in the VOICE on July 16, 2007
Five Most Common Coaching Mistakes
by Barbra Sundquist, IAC-CC
මෑතකදී කෙනෙකු මාගෙන් මෙසේ ඇසුවා: "ඔවුන්ගේ IAC සහතික කිරීමේ පටය තුළ මිනිසුන් විසින් සිදු කරන වඩාත් වැදගත්ම වැරැද්ද පහ මොනවාද?" මම මොහොතක් ගැන කල්පනා කළෙමි, ඉන්පසු කිසිදු නිශ්චිත නියෝගයකින් ගණන් ගත්තේ නැත:
- Talking too much
- Rushing to solution
- Accepting at face value
- Holding back
- Telling, rather than asking
This is my list. Other certifiers may have a slightly different list. But if I could wave a magic wand, this is what I would love to hear:
- More silence
- Seek to explore, not to solve
- Challenge assumptions
- Say what you're afraid to say
- Ask, rather than tell
Silence is a very powerful coaching skill. Nine times out of ten if you stay silent your client will eventually say something thoughtful or revelatory. They are using the silence to process their thoughts or access their intuition. That takes time, so don't rush them. The other benefit of allowing more silence is that you are less likely to interrupt or talk over your client.
ව්යායාම: "මම කතා කරන්නේ ඇයි" යනුවෙන් අදහස් කරන "WAIT" කියන ලොකු ලකුණක් සාදන්න.
2. Seek to explore, not to solve
Jumping in too soon with advice or solutions is the most common mistake of new coaches. Most clients do not want your solution, at least not at first. They want you to help them explore all facets of their issue. If you do that, the 'solution' or next step will present itself naturally.
ව්යායාම: පුර්ව විමර්ෂණ ප්රශ්න අසන්න:
- "How do you feel about it?"
- "What have you tried already?"
- "How did that work for you?"
3. අභියෝග උපකල්පන
පුහුණුකරුගේ කාර්යභාරය වන්නේ සේවාදායකයන් උපකල්පනය කිරීම, නිදහසට හෝ සීමාවන්ගෙන් තොරව විශ්වාස කිරීමටයි. එසේ කිරීමෙන්, අපි ඔවුන්ගේ හැකියාවන් පුළුල් කරමු. එය පුහුණු කිරීම යනු කුමක්ද?
Exercise: Listen for and challenge assumptions. Here are some examples:
සේවාදායකයා පවසන්නේ ... ඔබ ප්රතිචාර දක්වයි ... "මට බැහැ ..." "ඇයි නැත්තේ?" "Everyone knows…" "who's everyone?" "Of course x is true" "කව්ද කියන්නේ?" "මම එය දන්නවා…" "Is that a fact or an assumption?"
4. Say what you're afraid to say
Whether you call them inklings, intuition or "that little voice in your head", they're there for a reason. Don't be afraid to share those thoughts with your client. They often lead to breakthroughs.
I'll give you a personal example. When I started coaching I was very strong in some respects, but one thing I didn't do was challenge the status quo with the client. I was a little too polite. As a result I wasn't coaching to my full potential. And I wasn't giving my clients what they deserved.
That changed the day I finally said what I was afraid to say. My client was complaining that his wife was so negative. What immediately popped into my head was "that's ironic, because ඔයා මම දන්නා වඩාත් සෘණාත්මක පුද්ගලයන්ගෙන් එකක් ".
In that moment I had to decide whether to keep coaching at the "nice chat" level or to go deeper. I decided to take the plunge. Of course, I didn't just blurt out what was in my head. That would have been hurtful.
Instead, I said, "There's something that I'd like to share with you, but it might be hard for you to hear. Do you feel up to hearing it today?"
When he agreed, I said "It's interesting to hear you talk about your wife's negativity. Because my experience of you is that you are quite often negative, too."
We ended up having the most productive coaching call ever. In fact, he had a major breakthrough. From that point on, I was a changed coach.
Exercise: Listen for that little voice in your head and be fearless in sharing it with your client. Then notice how you feel about your effectiveness as a coach.
5. අහන්න, කියන්න එපා
පුහුණු කිරීම ප්රාථමිකව පවසන්නේ, කීම ගැන නොවේ.
ටෙල් (හොඳ) ඔබට x අවශ්යයි. What do you think you need? You're an introvert. Are you an introvert? You're obviously feeling better. How are you feeling?
Exercise: Record and transcribe a short coaching session. Then rewrite, converting "tell" statements into "ask" questions.
Barbra Sundquist, MPA, IAC-CC is a mentor coach and former IAC Certifying Examiner. Her 9-CD IAC Masteries® self-study program "Learn Coaching by Example" has helped many coaches improve their coaching skills and achieve IAC certification. Visit www.BecomeACertifiedCoach.com වැඩි විස්තර දැනගැනීම සඳහා.
සහතික කරන්නන් ඔබගෙන් ඇසීමට කැමති ප්රශ්නයක් තිබේද? මෙතැන ඔබේ ප්රශ්න යොමු කරන්න: http://certifiedcoachblog.typepad.com/blog/ask-the-certifiers.html.