This month Alison Davis shares her insights into Mastery Two: Perceiving, affirming and expanding the client’s potential.
How would all our lives be different if others helped us perceive, affirm and expand our potential on a regular basis and if we did this for others as part of our natural way of relating to each other?
This is a question I often ponder over, especially when I experience this magic myself. Take last night, for example: My daughter phoned me just before dinner to share some successes she’d had during the day. She’d just given a corporate workshop for a new client. It was a fantastic success and she’d been invited to do more. As I believe in celebrating successes every step of the way, I suggested we go out for a pizza at our favorite local Italian restaurant. Sometime during the meal she turned to me and said “I think I’d like a ‘Star’ moment!”
Just like when a performer is on stage at the end of a performance and the audience applauds, she wanted and needed that kind of acknowledgement in order to be able to really take in her success and feel it in her body. She wanted to take time to breathe it in and be witnessed as a success, so she could reap all the benefits of her hard work and preparation. Celebration and acknowledgement are necessary for this to happen.
We listened as she told us about the workshop, how she now felt as a result of the experience, what it meant to her and why it mattered. She shared the fear and doubt she had had before doing it and the relief she felt now that she had done it and it had been a success. As she shared bold dreams about the trainings she wanted to lead in the future, she expressed her joy and excitement. We offered our encouragement and belief in her. My husband reminded her of the strengths and talents he saw in her and shared about how he knew she would now go from strength to strength. As he spoke these words of acknowledgement, his enthusiasm ignited too and he began to point out how he saw her making a lasting difference to others and to the world. As a result she began to have a new appreciation of her capabilities and potential and her self-belief and excitement about the future were palpable.
So why don’t we always celebrate and acknowledge naturally and automatically? Why are some of us better at it than others?
Affirmation and acknowledgement were not modeled to me as a child. My parents never learnt how to do it and no one had done it for them. Indeed, my memory is that I was more often judged or criticized than applauded. My parents were both trained as scientists and had been taught to look first for what wasn’t working in order to put it right. Coming from that place, they missed the joy of noticing what was working and building on that. They also missed the joy of celebration! I find it difficult to actively celebrate successes and to take time to have fun and enjoy the moment, but thanks to Mastery Two these days I remember more and more! Now I realise that I have been missing out on so much joy and fun for a large part of my life! Since I’ve begun perceiving, affirming and expanding my own potential, as well as creating exercises to do this alone and with others, I’ve noticed many wonderful things: how my confidence has grown, how much better I feel about myself, how much more satisfied I am with my lot and how excited about my life I’ve become.
請將您的貢獻發送給Alison Davis Alison@foundationsforliving.com，所以她可以在每月的“VOICE”活動中分享他們。
艾莉森·戴維斯，IAC-CC，是在IAC，教練，導師的IAC-許可的虛擬訓練學校為基礎的生活教練和創始人認證考官。 更多詳細信息， www.foundationsforliving.com.